Not A Stranger
by MagicalMemories
Summary: Edward left Bella for the second time and so she turned to the Volturi,they turned her down the first time but thirty years after being made a vampire Bella is a very powerful one in the guard, with no memory of her human life.
1. I'm not a stranger

_I got a new idea for a fanfic and here I am posting it. This first chapter may suck but bear with me._

**Not A Stranger:**

_I'm not a stranger;_

I stood next to the throne in which Aro was seated in. Aro to my right and Caius next to my left. I felt so much at home here, in the Volturi, a coven that I was once tried to be protected from.

How stranger it was all back then when I was still human. That previous life of mine was a complete stranger to me, I could get comfortable with it close by but never fully comfortable enough to embrace the moments of it all. Which is the other thing; I couldn't remember anything from that humane lifetime. It had been thirty years since I had been turned. And of my own choice, one of the very few facts that I could remember.

Aro had asked Demetri to turn me as soon as he'd find me. I was told that I had went to them first to ask them to turn me but I was turned down at first. Then Demetri was sent out to find me. And just in time since it was described that I had been packing my bags.

I had suffered for thirty years trying to find out what had made me go to the Volturi, how I knew of them, and why I had been packing my bags since I was just eighteen and still in high school.

It was like a big secret no one wanted to tell me. But that would change when my human birthday was going to come. I had begged Demetri to tell me and after a long time of pleading he told me he'd ask Aro, Caius and Marcus if I could be told more about my past.

Whenever I brought up the subject I'd be let down by everyone having to go do errands. I had slightly given up when I found out that no one wanted to tell me because they thought that I'd leave to search for the thing that I had been fascinated by before. With that I wondered if I had had any lover that died, it would have explained why I was packing my bags. And that maybe he was a vampire, which would explain how I knew of the Volturi. But I was also told that no one wanted to hurt me because of how my human life had been coming apart, tearing me limb from limb in the process.

I wasn't so much as ungrateful about being turned because I had gotten so many friends and got to meet more of my kind as they came to visit Volterra to see the Volturi. But I was always curious as to how I was broken in my humane life, and possibly by whom.

"Master Aro, we have a guest," came Heidi's silken voice. I turned my head slightly to look at Aro, to see his expression. He looked delighted at the prospect of meeting someone new or else seeing an old friend.

Heidi came closet towards Aro and away from the door that she had come through. And after her stepped in a handsome adolescent not far from my age. His hair looked like it was wind swept and it seemed to look the colour of bronze. His figure was tall and fairly built for a vampire. He had no top on, his chest pale and marble looking like all vampires. His face was one of awaited torture but with a little bit of surprise.

His eyes were what held my attention the most. His gorgeous honey colored eyes. They looked like they were awaking from a dull dream and coming back to a blissful dream. They were so different from mine or any other vampires that I have ever seen.

He rang a bell or reminiscence. He looked so familiar yet I couldn't point my finger on a specific moment of time that I've actually seen him in. Maybe he looked like one of the many vampires that I had seen but I knew that I would have remembered if I had seen him before.

_Maybe in my huma-_

"Ahh, Edward! What brings you back here after the last time? Especially like that..." Aro knew this person and I was curious to know who he was so I touched my hand to his to ask a silent question about the beautiful stranger.

"My dear, this is Edward. I see you have a little reminder of someone just like him...Edward this is Bella, the newest member of the Volturi guard." Aro smiled triumphantly at Edward.

I noticed that as soon as Aro mentioned Edward to me everyone in the room went stiff beyond the normal way of vampires and looked uneasy. What did they know that I didn't? Would I even be answered?

I heard a growl emit from Edward's chest. I looked quizzically at the bronze haired vampire but instead Aro answered me. I forgot that he hadn't let my hand go,"Edwards gift is to read minds and I believe that he has found something that he doesn't like in my mind. Well, step forward, Edward, we shall talk silently.

Edward took a few step forward before he stood at the steps of the little podium we were on and Aro got up and went the rest of the way to him. Their hands touched and I knew that they may talk on forever like that.

I felt my power prowl to life, begging me to set it loose on Edward, to give an excuse for them to talk aloud. One side of my gift was to block any and every power off from their holder, to create shields, anything that blocked something, illusion or not. The other side was the more dangerous than the other. A power so simliar to Jane's, though not an illusion. The problem was that I if I were to ever get passionate that I may concenter my power into the moment. I was afraid to get too close to those types of moments with anyone.

When Aro had found out about my gift he was so happy to have me join. He knew exactly what I could do and in the midst of feeling like an unnatural creature, one who would be feared by everyone, he helped me out of that worry, letting me know that I was one of the supernatural and that I'd never feel left out because in our immortal lives we have a chance to catch our life time mates. Of course, there are the incidents where our mates may die. Marcus was a victim of such a horrible site, his mate had died, and even though I may not have been as tight with Marcus as with the others but I still felt that spot of sadness devoted to him in my heart.

"Bella, dear, please take down the shield, this conversation is not for anyones ears except for Edward's and mine." I hadn't even noticed that my shield had gone up, and I only faintly heard Aro's voice tell me to take my shield down. Someone nudged me in my left arm and I noted that I was still standing in my former position next to the thrones. Caius was still nudging me, not really wanting me to take it down because he wanted to hear the whole conversation even though he would later on.

"Please! Can I just say one thing to her?!" Edward's voice was a bell ringing, echoing in the room -or rather in my ears- just waiting for me to remember where I may have heard the beautiful boys voice before.

"Edward, you have caused grave grief for her. Hard to forget completely in this lifetime, but I see that I can be proven wrong by that since you seem to be doing the exact same act only for a different girl. Have you no mind to think with? One of the guard had found her in a horrible state, after se had come to us first, begging. She has forgotten and moved on, trying to have a happy life even though it'd be happier with you because of you know what... But I just can't hurt her that way, she's like a daughter to me...like my guard, a child of mine. So no, now please go on your way." Aro's tight and clipped voice had a ring of finality in it.

Edward looked pained and I was about to make my way to him before Caius' hand reached out to grab mine. I looked to him to see if I could find some answers for the questions running through my mind.

"Demetri, please take Bella, Alec and Jane upstairs to their chambers." So this wasn't anything about me, then. Or maybe that's what Aro wanted me to think. Possibly.

Edward looked at me with the face of a crippled old man. He was so familiar yet my mind seemed to play tricks, telling me that I couldn't have seen such a male vampire without remembering.

I watched as Demetri walked towards me and when he reached me he asked for my hand silently and pulled me out the doors of the spacious chamber with Alec and Jane on out heels.

"Bella, no!" Edward sounded like he knew me for a much longer period than just a few minutes in which we had met. I turned my head to look at him and saw a horribly pained look on his face.

"Come on, Bella," Demetri whispered quietly enough so that no one else heard. I could only nod but I dragged my feet.

"Please, Bella, just listen to me!" Edward's voice was dull and pleading. What could he possibly want to say to me if we just met?

"Now, Edward, please!" Aro's voice was stern and double timbre. I saw that Aro's face was one of disapprobation and annoyance. I felt an instinct that told me to shock Edward for bringing such a look upon dear Aro's face.

Demetri tugged on my arm and pulled me out the door while Alec and Jane were indubitably pushing me. I knew that this may be the only way that I could find out about myself, my past.

Just as the doors of the throne chamber shut and we were in the hallway leading to my room I whirled around quickly and shocked Alec and Jane, just enough to leave them in no state to run after me or stop me. I turned back around to shock Demetri but he was harder. The past years I had been practicing my powers with him and sometimes on him so he may have been used to the awful shock.

I layed pressure on and in a mile-second Demetri was on the ground, writhing in pain just like Alec and Jane.

"My apologies but I need to do this," with that I quickly and quietly ran back to the chamber but stopped short of the door. I listened in to the conversation that was wildly active in the throne chamber. I quickly dispersed Aro voice from Edward's since but were like silk and a bit alike.

"I don't want you to talk to her! Don't you think you have caused enough grief upon her? She came to us to beg us to turn her! In the end I sent out Demetri to do it. She's much happier not knowing or rather remembering you. Leave her have her peace, it's not as if you shall come back to her since you seem to have found your real mate. You thought Bella was your mate because her blood was better than anyone elses to you so you immediatly assumed so."

They were on about me, I knew that much anyway.

"Aro, I need to speak with her! I have a right. If she really wants to stay here then she will but if she wants to leave that is all up to her." Edward was talking about me leaving. Why would I do that? It was not like I had another coven that really wanted me. So did I have ties with this vampire after all? In my human life?

"She was human then, and you hurt her very deeply. What can you say to her if you don't even have the same feelings for her since you thought you did back then? Maybell would not be happy to share you. You have her now, and before you provoke us because you believe your mate is in a position Bella was in once before you should leave. I am sure that it is another misunderstanding. If not then you are free to come back here and have us fulfill your wishes. Until then I presume." Aro clearly wanted Edward to leave as soon as possible but Edward wasn't as determined to do so.

"Aro, let him see her, then if she's mad with him she'll do what she does best! If not..." Caius sounded very smug.

Suddenly a hand snaked our from behind me and pulled me back away from the door. Once the person let me go I turned to see Demetri looking like he just got out of bed while he was seriously hurt. Oh, no...

This time he reached for my hand and started to pull me towards the guards chambers.

* * *

_**Tips:**_

**Bella was left by Edward in Eclipse in this fanfic. You'll find out more about her past which she has obviously forgotten as the chapters go on.**

**Yes, Edward is doing the exact same act he did in New Moon for Bella except this time for a girl he thinks is his true mate.**

**Bella's powers can work for illusions and others. Her powers are her shields and mind blocks with a power very close to Jane's one but is more powerful depending on her mood and intensity. You shall find out why I gave her the second power later on.**

**This chapter begins thirty years after Bella is turned so she's forty-eight, and Edward is a hundred and thirty-nine I believe.**


	2. No, I am yours

**Not A Stranger:**

_No, I am yours:_

Demetri pulled me along the many hallways until we came to a stop outside my chamber. I sighed,"Please tell me..." My voice was a gentle whisper. Demetri sighed also and leaned against the wall to the right of my door.

"Go on in, I will tell you there,"He opened the door for me and let me slip in first. I slowly walked to the chair which was next to the only window in the room. The room itself was a boring pale blue. The fore mentioned window had the curtains drawn, the curtains a brown colour.

"Bella, nobody was allowed to tell you because Aro knew that it would hurt you, please let me tell you as mush as I will be able to withour begging for more." I nodded, knowing it is better to know something instead of nothing.

* * *

"You came to us thirty years ago begging us to turn you. You told us that Edward and the Cullen family had left you in Forks where you previously lived. Aro didn't feel the interest he felt for you before anymore so he told you he wouldn't. He sent Jane and Felix to investigate if what you told us was true since he was at a loss for not being able to read your mind then."

Demetri had spent a few minutes deliberating how he should tell me what I was in need of knowing.

"Wait, I know now who Edward is but who was he to me back then? And who are the Cullens? Just some coven in this Forks town?" I knew that I should not interrupt the vampire before me but I did not know if he would tell me who they were to me or not.

"I'll tell you if you stop interrupting me!" I sighed and slightly nodded my head,"Right, well, the Cullens aren't really a coven, they think of themselves as a family. Edward is apart of them. Edward was your, um...your-yo- I'm sorry Bella but it is not my place to tell you! You know this already! Just think!"

I was startled by his sudden expression of frustration. _I already know this?_

"Demetri, I am asking you to tell me because I do not know..." His expression was still one of frustration at my idiocy from the subject.

"But, dear Bella, you do know! You just hide it from yourself! Take away your shield! Take it away if you want to know..." Now his facial expression was a sad one. _He feels sadness for me because he thinks I am hiding the truth from myself. Or is it sympathy?_

It felt like my insides were turning inside-out at the prospect of being so close to knowing, or in this case remembering, the truth of my past. I was so curious to know all my unanswered questions that I didn't pay attention at how choked up Demetri seemed as he was trying to explain who Edward was to me.

"While you try to figure it out I'm going to see to Alec and Jane," and with that he left swiftly as if trying to escape me by all means possible. Why was he so sad to tell me the truth?

_Concentrate, Isabella...Concentrate! My mind screamed at me. The truth is so close, think of the satisfaction you shall gain once you endure it so in an embrace for your past...Compel yourself to break the consolidated shield that is stopping you from knowing everything all over again..._

_Think of tasting the satisfactory you shall have from remembering everything you have forgotten..._

_No...I can't do it unless it is meant to be so by Go-_

I couldn't say the sacred word. It chocked me up and made me feel like gagging even though nothing the like would ever happen. I knew that I may be able to say it but my own conscience stopped me from doing so.

If I was meant to know then someone would tell me but...I was too tempted to resist the urge I had to wash away my shield.

How can I even take it down if I never knew it was there?

I shut my eyes and every noise that I heard out of my mind. I concentrated hard on imagining a heavy shield adhered to the part of my mind which withheld my human memories. The shield thickened the more I got away from the truth. Slowly I imagined waves coming and going washing away the thick shield surrounding my past. Lairs and lairs of the shield came down. I tried harder on focusing my being able to break out of any shield to endure my freedom again.

And then the last lair came down...

Suddenly unfamiliar images were playing themselves through my eyes.

_"You seem to dazzle everyone here, as do your siblings," a human girl looked at the same boy I had stared at a few moments ago, Edward. Edward smiled a brilliant smile which seemed to dazzle the girl._

_"Do I dazzle you?" He seemed interested in the girl's answer like he really wanted to dazzle her. The girl blushed a heavy red while seeming to try to come up with an answer that would change the subject. But Edward was a vampire in this and so seemed to note that the girl wanted to change the subject._

_But the girl didn't say something that would have changed the subject,"Yes." She said it quietly, blushing harder._

_-_

_"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in - my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that! As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off." I could see Edward working himself up because of something the same human girl had said._

_"Edward, please, ju-" Edward quickly interrupted the girl because in her case she was trying to relieve Edward from the tension he had let roll in._

_-_

_Edward was now very close to the girl, cherishing her face, running his fingers along her cheek,"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..." The girl seemed like she was content with the space they had between them but that she longed to close it completely._

_"Stupid lamb." Edward looked like he was about to correct her but let it go._

_Instead he said,"Sick, masochistic lion." The girl and Edward seemed to be lost in each others eyes. Edwards eyes in the image were golden and very mesmerizing. _

_The girl had slightly brown hair, actually more auburn than brown but it still looked beautiful nonetheless. Her eyes were a gorgeous chocolate brown that I would have loved to have. She reminded me of someone but I couldn't place my finger on it. Maybe a friend or ...._

_-_

_In the new and clearer picture the beautiful girl was on the floor of someplace which looked like a dance studio with mirrors from floor to ceiling everywhere. The scenery also seemed familiar to me._

_The girl was screaming in pure pain and someone, Edward, was rushing towards her. He knelt down beside her with another vampire next to him, a fair haired vampire who looked familiar like the others. The girl looked up at Edward as he said something. She smiled through her pain and said,"Angel. My angel." Edward seemed chocked up and I saw that on her wrist was a vampire bite mark in the shape of a crescent moon._

_"Hold on...Bella..." Everything came apart then. Bella? And then all the familiarities clicked into place. Edward... Myself... The ballet studio... The fair haired vampire also known as Carlisle..._

I gasped as the images suddenly disappeared. I felt as if someone had splashed water in my face as my eyes adjusted to my surroundings. I was still in my room and what felt like ages was probably just a few mere minutes.

Now I remembered Forks, the little town covered by constant clouds that I had been born and lived in with my father when I was human and seventeen. Phoenix, where I had lived with my mother throughout the school years until it was time to visit my father, who I had called Charlie, during the summer.

I remembered my first day in Forks High School, the place where I had first met Edward and his family, the Cullens. And I remembered the day that I decided to visit Volterra by my own choice as so to beg the Volturi to change me because I knew, or rather thought, that was why Edward had left me. Because I wasn't like him in anyway.

That set my curiosity on fire again. Why had Edward left?

I quickly stood up from the chair I had been sitting in and ran to the door. Just as I opened it I ran into someone. It most have been someone big since I fell back on my behind. I immediately stood up straight and looked up at the person who I had run into. It was Demetri and behind him stood Alec and Jane.

"Apologies, I just thought I should check up on you." Demetri's silk voice ran through my mind. I knew that if I had been human then I might had blushed because such a beautiful man was talking to me.

I nodded and tilted my head to the side to look at the beautiful twins standing just behind Demetri. I opened my mouth to apologize for shocking them earlier on but Jane cut me off,"What do you know?" Her glare was one of pure anger. She obviously didn't want me to know.

I sat myself down on my bed and rested my head in my hands,"Everything. I remember everything..." I could feel the sting in my eyes and nose which meant that I would cry sooner or later.

I heard Demetri sigh,"I'm sorry for telling you to take down your shield but I thought that it would be better if you remembered. I never thought it may hurt you. I truly am sorry." He sat down next to me. I nodded slightly as a sign of forgiveness but he didn't understand that I wasn't exactly upset but that I was frustrated about not knowing why Edward left me after telling me so many times that we belonged together.

I decided to voice my thoughts,"I am not sorrowful but merely frustrated because one question is still unanswered for me."

I lifted my head out of my hands and looked around at the three vampires in my chamber."May I please speak to Aro?"

"He is probably still speaking with Edward so maybe you should wait,"Jane said in a cold voice. She was upset at my knowledge of my past. Oh, well...

"But I also need to talk with Edward!"I quickly stood up as the thought the three vampires trying to stop me from speaking to Edward entered my mind. They could if they wanted to...

Jane opened her mouth to say something but Alec cut her off,"Jane, she has a right to speak with Edward so we should let her." Alec looked sadly at me as if feeling symphaty for me because I was left behind by the person who I thought was my mate.

Demetri sighed again and stood up,"Fine, we'll take you." He seemed in an inner battle, wondering if it was the right thing to let me talk to Edward, battling against something that he knew would make me unhappy. That is what it seemed to be all about now, him wanting me happy.


	3. In crippled anger

**Disclaimer: I don't own this amazing series of books.**

**Not A Stranger:**

_With crippled anger:_

I raced down the hallways so that I would still be able to catch Edward to question him. Alec, Demetri and Jane were behind me.

I stopped just outside of the throne chamber where there were guards positioned outside the doors. One had long brown hair that stopped at the middle of his back, his eyes crimson red as every other vampire's and was very tall with broad shoulders. The other one was slightly shorter than the first with golden blond hair that seemed so fair that it nearly looked like dirty milk white, his eyes standing out startlingly.

They were obviously informed that I was not to come near to the doors so they both took a step towards me but they immediately dropped to the ground. I looked around and saw that Alec was staring intently at the broad vampires laying on the ground.

"It is better if we make no noise. First we'll listen to what they're saying without letting them know that we are here because they will not let you talk to Edward. So be very quiet," Alec barely whisperred. I nodded and creeped to the door trying not to stir up any noise.

I put my hand onto the massive door handles and tugged lightly at them hoping no noise would be made during the process of opened the huge doors to the colossal throne room inside.

A hand reached out and put itself over mine. I looked behind me to see Demetri looking back at me while tugging at the door slightly and quietly popping it opened. I smiled my thanks in a very rare show of affection.

I opened the door a bit further just so that I was able to see with one eye. I could not hear anything for a few seconds and so I started to panic, thinking that maybe we had been caught opening the door, but soon Aro's voice filled the room.

"I am sorry to disappoint you Edward but you simply cannot see Bella. Please pass on my hello to Carlisle," his voice seemed to have finality in it that quietened Edward for a few mere seconds.

I streched my shield over the room to get a better view in my mind since I could not actually see everyone except for Aro, Caius and Felix, who were right across from the doors.

As soon as everyone was inside my invisble shield their positions in the room lit up in my mind like marks giving me a much better idea of where everyone stood. Heidi stood a little bit away from Felix, just out of my eyesight. Marcus was sitting in his throne next to Aro's right like usual. Renata was off to Marcus' right, also just out of eyesight. Chelsea was also familiar to my shield and was standing next to Heidi. Santiago was behind Edward, who's light was somewhat familiar even though I had never shielded him.

Suddenly Edward did something nobody expected. He ran up to Aro with his right fist raised, aimed right at Aro's chest. He was so fast that Santiago missed him while trying to grab him. Nobody else was fast enough to catch him and soon it all fell apart.

When Edward's fist collided with Aro's chest Aro stumbled back, surprised that the vampire would dare to raise his fist in such a fashion. Felix was immediately in front of Edward, who was looking shocked by his own choice of action.

Felix growled, accompanied by all the other vampires growls including mine, before colliding right into Edward. Edward did not seem like a fighter but he was soom beating Felix in a rage. Santiago ran up behind him but Edward kicked out and sent him crashing into the wall.

My vision suddenly went red. I could not let Edward hurt the ones I loved like that. I threw the doors fully open furiously and ran towards Edward. I threw myself on his back and decided to play with his head. This shall be delightful...

My shield snapped back like an elastic band round Edward's mind. I searched throughout his mind for the point of connection where I would be able to block off his power.

He grabbed my arms which were wrapped tighlty around his neck and tugged them apart, pulling me off of his backm over his head, smashing my body into the marble floor of the chamber. The floor underneath me morally exploded from the pressure that hit it. I screamed as the pain travelled up my back, stinging.

"Bella!" Demetri pushed Edward away from me. His hands began to jot out at Edward, hitting him hard and sending him to the ground. I jumped up and pushed Demetri out of my path towards Edward, who had managed to stand up.

I set my power free and as soon as it hit Edward he fell on his knees from the weight of the shock. His screams and groans pierced through the walls of the chamber, giving me a sick satisfaction. Demetri and Felix grabbed Edward's arms and tugged him into a standing position

I concentated harder to concenter the shock around Edward's brain which sent his nerves connected to the brain into a hecktick state. His screams were louder than before and it felt like it was right, showing how much it hurt me when he left.

"That is enough, Bella." Aro said while glaring at Edward. I might as well have not heard him considerring that I kept the shock up.

I looked up at Aro while still concentrating and saw him nodding to someone behind me. Abruptly Edward's screams of pain ceased and became quiet groans. I looked behind me to see Alec looking at Edward. Jane was next to him with the two guards who Alec had blinded standing behind her. I looked back up to Aro, catching him gesturing me over to his side.

I slowly stood up straightly and flitted to his side where I bowed to him, Marcus and Caius.

"Can you see what she is capable of, Edward? One should learn not to anger one like her. I have a theory for her second power. She can still block out people from her mind just as she did when she was human. She can shield them from danger and then she can create a shock so painful that you'll wish you wer dead. Can you see, Edward?" Aro's voice seemed to be disapproving.

I looked down at my feet. I could feel Edward's penatrating stare on my figure. Why was he here anyway? I touched Aro's hand to ask him, letting my shield come away from my mind again.

"Aro, please let me speak to her privately." Edward begged. Aro looked at me, as I lifted my head to look at Edward.

"She seemes curious as to why you walked away from her before, so I shall let you have that one exception." Aro put his hand on the small of my back and lightly pushed me towards Edward.

I slid my shield away again to let Edward see into my mind as I went back over the moments I remembered best. His face slid into a grimance.

"I'm sorry, I never planned for that to happen."

_Why did you do it so savagely?_

His face seemed to fall into place of a blank mask. So this was a sensitive subject for him? Did he not think of me? Or how my father may have felt about my faked death?

"I am sorry about it all but we were not mates."

_But you said that we were, and so many times._

"I was wrong."

_I can see that_. I felt like crying over this beautiful boy who had said that we belonged together. But who also said that he was sick of me.

" Bella, no don't, I didn't mean to hurt you like that."

_Why did you wish to speak with me?_

"I wanted to see how you are...You are very beautiful, almost as if you were created for this immortal life." I heard a growl come from my left and then another behind me.

_Well, you saw how I am now you can perish from the pain I have saved up for you! _I was getting really agitated as he told me things that made me feel like he never broke my heart. I wanted to scream out because of the pain he was making me feel without even saying one hurtful or offensive word. I wanted him to feel the same pain I felt when I was human and a newborn. It had only grown worse when I was turned because all my senses and feelings were multiplyed. He deserved the pain.

"Bella, we were just growing apart! I just felt different towards you so I talked to Carlisle about it and he said that it may be the fact that we mightn't be real soul mates!" His voice was raised slightly and sending pain throughout my mind. My shield had only one priority and that was to snap back around my mind, protecting me from the vampire in front of me.

"Just leave." I said it quietly but I was sure everyone had heard it. I turned around to walk back to Aro who seemed like he wanted to get out a match and light Edward on fire.

Suddenly everyones head turned towards the door as they slammed open. In walked a short adolescent girl with spiky black hair, her eyes just like Edward's. She looked like a model in her outfit and figure. She was definitely a vampire from the pale skin and eye color. And I knew who it was...

Alice Cullen.

My first instinct was to run to her and hug her but I stopped myself as another girl walked in. Her hair was the lightest of browns that I had ever seen. Her eyes were a beautiful chocolate brown. She was not a vampire like myself or the others in the room. She was very much human. Her scent hit me hard and left me trying to stop myself from prancing on her and sucking her blood out. The others were having a hard time as well.

"Edward! No, don't!" The words escaped the girl's mouth as she ran up to Edward. Alice tried to hold her back but her hand fell limp by her side.

The girl ran into Edward's open arms as I stared at the them hugging with a confused look upon my face. Their embrace seemed to last forever before Aro cleared his throat.

"Ah, dear Maybell. How nice to see you here! This feels just like Edward's fist time coming here!" Aro was pointing out some fact that I seemed alone in not getting. Everyone else just looked liked the girl was their last chance to live."Alice, it is so nice to see you again, also like last time."

I looked from Aro's face to Alice's. She looked away from Edward and the girl who was called Maybell to look at Aro. Her eyes widened when her eyes stopped at my figure. She gasped and put her hand up to her mouth.

"Bella! Oh, my Goodness, Bella! You're here! A vampire! How?" Alice quickly rushed up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist as she hugged me as if we hadn't seen each other for longer than thirty years.

"Alice," was all I could manage before I stopped resisting the urge to hug her back. I wrapped my arms tighlty around her small frame and burried my head in the crook of her neck, silently crying on her shoulder.

Her hand came up to pet my head lightly," It's alright, sis'." It had been always so nice when Alice became so compassionate when I became sad.

"Alice, who is she?" Maybell's voice cut me from telling Alice that I had missed her. Her voice sounded just so...human compared to everyone elses beautiful ones. Theirs twinkled like bells while Maybell's was plain.

"This is, um...Bella," Alice said as she let go of me and looked at Maybell,"Bella's a very good friend of the family, she was...Edward's..."Alice left it at that before turning to Aro.

"I'm sorry about this misunderstanding. Edward didn't get the right message. We'll be on our way now." Alice turned to me and smiled sadly.

Caius sat forward in his throne and cleared his throat,"I am not correct in saying that you have a human with you? Who obviously knows about out mankind?"

Edward looked sharply at him,"Yes, she is human. If that is all," he turned around with Maybell in his arms still. _So, is she his mate now?_

That was very hurtful, how he showed his passion for her in the way that they hugged. My eyes started to sting again but I knew no tears would fall. How could Edward do that so freely when I was here?

_He got sick of me because we were not true mates..._

I looked at Maybell with pure hate in my eyes. He left me all broken and without an explanation. She got this gorgeous boy when all I got was a broken heart. _Why?_

"You are forgetting what we had said to you last time,"Caius was staring intently at Maybell as Edward turned back around to stare furiously at him.

"Maybell is going to be turned when she finished school. We already have it all planned ou-" Alice's sharp words cut Edward off.

"Edward, enough! Don't, not in front of..." Her head tilted towards me. So he was willing to turn Maybell but he had gotten mad at me countless times when I asked him to. My face formed into a blank mask. He was like a true monster with no soul.

I lunged at Edward, hoping to get Maybell hurt as well. I needed to show him how much it hurt to watch him and her after he... Demetri and Felix lunged after me, cathcing my streched out arms and holding me back. I let out a menacing growl before my power ripped out of the shield containing it. It shut out at Edward direction.

It hit him hard and he fell to the ground as Maybell looked confused. Soon after Edward's screams began hers followed suit.

"Edward?! What are you doing to him?!" She was crying now. Her tears streaed down her face and neck. I growled again, hoping that my shock would burn into Edward's mind for eternity.

"Bella, calm down!" Demetri's silk voice was so quiet that no one else heard. His voice soothed my anger and assuaged the fire deep inside me. I fell limp in his body, wishing that vampires could black out. My sobs were heard by everyone. All I saw was red, burgundy red.

I looked up at Edward as he stood up silently, loathing him for fooling me with his words and empty promises of a future that could last forever. His face looked so sad. He mouthed the words he last said to me when he left me.

_I can't do this anymore._

* * *

_Thanks to everyone who added this fanfic to their favorite's list/story alert and especially to those who reviewed. Please review some more for the next chapter. _


	4. And tears that drip sore

**Disclaimer: I do not own the awesomeness that is the Twilight saga.**

**Not A Stranger:**

_And tears that still drip sore:_

I felt Demetri's arms wrap around my waist, holding me up. I sagged in his arms, scared that if I looked up at Edward again I would break down completely.

The pain soaring through my body and mind burst out like a shock at everyone surrounding me. Demetri was shocked first, falling to the ground though with his arms at his sides. Alec, Alice, Chelsea, Edward, Felix, Heidi, Jane, Maybell and Santiago crippled to the ground next.

The elastic shock reached Aro, Caius and Marcus and they doubled over, groaning. I suppose this was just as bad for them as for me. Maybe now they could all see how truly embarrassed, humiliated and hurt I was on the inside. It was how I could show anyone how I truly felt.

Their screams were horrible, as if I were ripping them limb from limb and lighting them on fire. Maybell's was the loudest and worst. She was human so it hurt her worse than anyone else.

I tried to blow up my shield around them, disconnecting my pain from their well being. It worked but put more pressure on me. I started to breathe heavily even though it was just a human reaction. I felt the immense pain multiply itself through my mind.

Someone shook me and called out my name. Was it possible that I was now lost in a pain so deep that I was cut off from all other senses? Maybe.

I wished then that I could just die. To die would be a better deal than feeling the hurt pile up on my shoulders.

"Bella! Say something!" Demetri's angel voice came to my ears. It was like a calm wave rushing over the burning of my heart. It soothed me that I almost started to think that it was better to get lost in complete bliss and ignorance.

"Demetri...it hurts..." I gasped it out between unneeded breaths.

Then came the voice that I didn't want to here,"Edward, what's wrong with her? What just happened?" Maybell's voice was panicky and pleading. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears, her voice rising in pitch.

"She's in a great amount of pain. Bella can take a person's most horrible memories and make the person feel pain like they never felt it before. She can also project her own pain." Edward said my name as if he were afraid of saying it.

Demetri emitted a growl from next to me,"Do not call her Bella. She is obviously no one to you so don't treat her like you may actually care."

"Leave him be, Demetri, he doesn't know anything right now," it was Alice's beautiful bell like voice that replied back to Demetri.

That is why I loved the Volturi guard, who I secretly called my family. They stood up for me, soothed me when I hurt and seemed to care for me. Alice was in that small circle, too, but she seemed intent to stay with the Cullens. If only things were a bit different.

"You should leave now, Edward and his company. Alice, you may stay if you wish."Aro's voice was filled with hope. Everyone acted as if a serious shock had not just hit them. It still engulfed me and I was hoping for a chance or excuse to focus harder on something else.

"I'm sorry, Aro, but my place is with the Cullens." I was sad to hear Alice say that, feeling like she also didn't want anything to do with me."Bye, Bella, I'll miss you and I love you just like before." Through the pain I managed to look up at her face. It was one of regret and sadness. _She would stay if she truly wanted to and I can't hold her against her will..._

"B-b-bye...Alic-ce," my goodbye was strained but it sounded meaningful. I wished that could actually cry out tears because cying without tears was depressing and pointless.

She turned but then flitted back to me before engufing me in a bear hug. I winced as I felt her flinch at the pain that spazzed through her when she touched me. _I cannot even get too close to the ones I love without hurting them._

I quietly sobbed on her shoulder. I most have looked a right mess.

Alice soon had to let go and walk back towards Edward. Edward looked intently at me, before his gaze moved down to his feet,"Goodbye, Bella." Demetri growled again as did Aro and Felix.

I looked up properly at his face," Look at my face and say it like a man. But, of course, you're a monster with no soul at all so you wouldn't know how to be a real man!" I was surprised at myself, for coming up with a snarky reply to his lame goodbye.

He looked sharply up at me but then slid his eyes down to his feet again. Aro cleared his voice, "Well, it is in my place that I warn you of the consicences of letting a human know about us. She most be turned immediately or else we shall visit like the Grim Reaper. Remember Edward that if you ever decide to visit, which would be unfortunate, make sure to remember your manners, and curtesy to women. If you ever hurt Bella in anyway, I shall send the whole Volturi down on you and your mate. Now be gone!" Aro boomed in his double timbred voice. It had a ring of finality in it and closed any arguments that may have taken place.

I heard them walk away at a fast, human pace. They were gone at last.

I tried to stand up but I fell back down again as if my body wanted to stay glued to the hard marble floor. I felt Demetri's hand on my shoulder, patting it.

"Demetri, take Bells to her chamber. Alec, I need to have a word with you." Aro directed us all out of the throne room. I felt like a weak and puny human.

It took Demetri less than a few seconds to reach my chamber. He had me in his arms, holding me in a way I thought only Edward would hold me when we were together.

He kicked the door opened and put me on the bed.

"Thank you...Demetri..."I said it so quietly that I might not have said it at all.

I looked up his beautiful face and smiled. He responded with a sad smile,"I'm sorry that you had to find out like that."

A silence came over us. I couldn't take too kindly to silences so I spoke up,"I can remember now that when I was human I always waited for Edward, but he never came back. No... I thought that I might die if he never came back. And I guess I did. He always said that he'd be there," I whisperred, letting my self go. Demetri was someone I knew I could trust.

"Maybe he knew from the start that you could not be something someday so he tried letting you go but didn't succeed," Demetri whisperred back. Why could I always feel like I was a free soul around Demetri but a trapped one around Edward?

"It hurt so much...And it still does...It's like when he left me my power truly developed and so I can cause so much pain to people. But when the reason for my power came back around it hurt me, reminding me of it all."I drew in a shaky breathe that I did not need.

"Maybe man up aboce gave you the power so you could punish him for how cruely he acted..." When Demetri said so he reminded me that he believed in the man kind up above us all in such a passionate way that it renderred others speechless.

"...Maybe..." I could not believe in the thought that he could send me such a power, he was all about justicea and peace,"But it does not feel like much of a power...more like a curse, hurting everyone I love and myself." I felt like crying again. I felt like I may be loosing everything, my mind, my heart, my will.

"You cannot hurt the people you truly love, it is immpossible," Demetri's voice was still soothing. I looked into his crimson red eyes that looked beautiful no matter what.

"Do you believe in going to...the place where angels are said to be after you die?" I was curious for his answer.

It took him a while to think it over but he soon answered," I cannot put my finger on a specific theory or thought about it but I believe in somethings. It may feel like you are in heaven when you are with your mate but about going somewhere when you die is a hard thought to think about," His voice was still a whisper. Soft footsteps were heard in the hall outside. I looked at Demetri again and saw that he was kneeling at the bed. The swift rap on the door made him stand up and murmer something that I did not catch.

Alec head poked inside the room. His eyes quickly searched for my figure. I looked into his eyes and smiled weakly. He couldn't uster up a smile to respond with so instead he stepped inside the room and closed the door,"Aro told me to ask you if you want me to numb some of your senses for a while so you can stop feeling the pain."

I thought it over. Maybe I could give in this once to stop all the painful memories from flooding my mind. I couldn't just stop and keep it going, I had no other choice, it hurt too much, the memories causing all the pain. I nodded once to let Alec know that I would go along with it.

He came over to Demetri and they both took a chair each from the three that stood in the room. I quickly grabbed Demetri's left hand and held it tighlty.

"Forget about everything, it'll be like you don't have a care in the world." Alec's reassuring voice calmed me and made me focus on the thought of feeling nothing at all.

Suddenly I couldn't see anything, there were no more noises and the sound of Alec's and Demetri's voices were faint -disappearing all together in a few seconds.

This was the closest I could get to blissfulness at the moment. I felt everything slip away. But gradually the voices from a conversation came into focus. Maybe Alec could create images without even knowing so... I hoped it to be nice, gentel and not hurtful.

"...to say the least, you seem to make her better and..." One voice said as another soon took off with the sentence.

"I cannot help it, it helps to see her happy..." The second voice sounded like it belonged to some man, a manly voice yet it twinkled like a bell at the same time. It had a certain accent to it.

"Make her happy...it's what counts at this moment...she's been hurt too much..."

Then the voices started to fade. At that moment everything completely slipped away, no voices were heard and no images seen. It was blissful to finally not feel the sting of pain from memories that were not mine anymore. I hoped this happened more often, just feeling like you were asleep, though knowing you were not.

I started to imagine that I was running slowly through a meadow. In it were the most beautiful flowers that I could imagine, ranging them from all kinds of colors. Trees surrounded the beautiful place. The grass was a lucious green. The sun was setting over the horizon, making my skin flash like a diamond. There was a hand holding mine. I followed the hand up to it's owner to see Demetri. I hoped that I was smiling to show that I was happy to be there with him, a person that I would always trust.

He smiled back, glittering like myself in the sunset. It seemed so good and addictive. I wished that I could stay in the dreamy atmosphere for ever. It was so good and an image that I would treasure til the day I died. Maybe this was what Demetri had described as a sort of heaven. I guess I would always wish to go to my heaven, a place where I seemed to have no care, where I just floated.

Abruptly the image ended. Things started to come into focus. I heard the panicked voices of Alec and Demetri. My ears began to sting and it felt like there was a hamemr hitting my head.

"Bella! Answer me!" Demetri was nearly yelling at me. I grimanced as the yelled whisper hurt my ears more.

The worst part was that I could no longer imagine the perfect scene of the beautiful meadow where the sun set.

"Demetri..." I whisperred softly. I wished the blissfulness was back.

"She is okay!" Alec breathed out a sigh of relief. The two of them came into view and I saw that they were tense. Their faces wore masks of worry though there were no creases no their foreheads.

"Thank God, you are okay," I flinched when Demetri said the word. Why were they acting like that?

I quickly found my voice," What are you going on about? Please tell me," My voice sounded hoarse even for a vampire.

"Alec felt you sliping away. You were going in too deep into the feeing of nothing. You could have died!" Demetri yelled the last part. I flinched again, having never been yelled at by Demetri or anyone for that matter.

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This chapter may suck, it probably will, but I have to post it anyway. Review if you want.


	5. A fragile fire aged is misery

**Not A Stranger:**

_A fragile fire aged is misery;_

Life felt meaningless if it was just going to be pain. There were times when the pain would subside, and those times were when I was with the people I loved the most.

I spent a lot of time with Demetri even though the last time we really had spoken was when he brought me out of my beautiful hallucination. He had yelled at me because he thought that I might have died because I was going too deep into the void of nothing (though it did _not_ feel like simply nothing.)

I had been so greatful to Alec for giving me such a gift as a moment of pure blissfulness. Alec and Demetri had looked at me as if I had said the most inscrutable word that they ever heard. I wished that they could only just understand the happiness I felt after so long a time of raw pain. They may have felt pain but they couldn't have felt the same pain as me since they never had someone break their heart.

It soothed me just to be near Demetri. I could spend forever looking at his features and sometimes when we had nothing to do we'd sit at a table and study the other one.

Once I had gotten enough courage to ask Demetri if I could know about his human life. I had not expected him to blow up or yell and thankfully he did not do so.

" I don't find my life that interesting. But I also don't remember it. But I do remember somethings that I liked." I was fasinated by this.

"Go on," I urged him on to tell me his favourite memories. I wish I could call more memories my favourite but I couldn't. They may have been my favourite just before Edward left me with such heart ache.

"I remember...some little girl I used to play with when I was younger. And I always like to think of her as my little sister. Her hair was as beautiful as yours and her eyes were such a rare apple green. I have tried to burn the memory into my mind and it worked. And another is about a time that I had gotten a kite, probably for my birthday, and I was running around a hill with it. Those two are my most favourite memories. They're close to my unbeating heart..." I sighed lightly and brought my hand up to push away a lock of Demetri's golden hair that had slung over his eyes.

As I brushed back the lock I tried to memorize how soft it felt. It was such a beautiful colour. Possibly the palest of golds that I had ever seen.

"Bella..." Demetri's voice was so soft that it ached to have to wait everytime for him to say more as so I could hear it again. He said my name in a way that made me want him to say it over and over again. His hand came up to rest on my cheek. His hand felt rough yet so soft.

I leaned in to his touch and felt myself drift away, self-communing. I felt so at ease with this person that I knew I could trust him with anything. Demetri was a true friend who made my worries and problems go away. I hoped then that I could keep him with me forever. I knew I was being selfish but I couldn't help it.

Demetri was like a drug who made everything bad go away from my world. With him I could dream away forever.

"Bella...I'm sorry for everything you had to go through." His voice had uncertainty in it. I lightly shook my head, not wanting for the moment of a perfect illusion to go away. I closed my eyes but I could still see the gorgeous face of the man in front of me. I knew that if Demetri ever found his mate that I would make sure they would know that I'd kill them if they ever hurt him. I felt that protective of him.

" And now dear Bella, you are part of my favourite memories..." His voice caressed my heart. My dead heart which was slowly melting. I smiled and slightly opened my eyes.

"You'll be apart of my cherished memories for life, Demetri...my best memories that I can remember." My voice was a soft whisper that seemed to echo throughout the room.

I wanted so badly to take his hand and try to show him my memories. Especially the one of my beautiful meadow where he had appered. My thoughts strayed off to a plan. Maybe I could ask Alec to let me have another moment where I could self-commune like a human. To have a chance to revisit my meadow where there seemed to be no problems. The only thing there would be the sun setting then rising, flowers blossoming and shining with all their beautiful colours and maybe, just maybe, Demetri -always waiting for me...

I knew that it would pain me to go without seeing the meadow and everything in it but I also knew that I would see it. I closed my eyes and tried to picture my meadow as best as I could.

I gave a little gasp when it came to life before me. It's flowers blossomed one by one, lighting the meadow with a beautiful natural glow.

Demetri's voice only made it better,"Bella...Bella...follow me, Bella..." I smiled and imagined Demetri behind me, telling me to follow him to a place that would make time stand still.

A gasp brought me out of my day dream. I opened my eyes and peered at Demetri with confusion.

"Bella, what was that?" I was curious as to what he was refering to.

"But I don't know-" Demetri cut me off by putting a finger to my lips. If I could have blushed I am sure that I would have. Having a beautiful man near me again was something that I only shared with Edward, and those moments weren't long since he had been afraid of killing me for my blood.

"When you took my hand I felt utter happiness. A happiness I never knew existed...I think that you can project not only pain but happiness, too." I hadn't even noticed that I had taken Demetri's big hand in my small one. It felt so good there.

"I'm glad that I could show you how happy I am at this moment...I was picturing this beautiful place that I saw when Alec made his power give me a few minutes to relax. You had thought that I was dying but I was merely basking in the sunlight of my meadow." I closed my eyes again and tried to bring the picture of the meadow back.

"Your meadow?" Curiousity laced Demetri's voice. I smiled at the chance to tell Demetri about my precious meadow.

"My meadow. There is the divine sun, setting. Flowers are everywhere in it. They shine with everything that they can, and their colours are magnificent! Then when I look around I may see you there," I opened my eyes and looked thoroughly at Demetri, trying to drink up all his features." When I look at you, the sun sinks into your features. It makes your eyes look like they're bright red, like if you fill a jar with a burgundy dye, then hold it up to the sun and look at it while the sun shines down on it. Your hair looks like the most amazing pale gold I have seen, shining brightly in the gorgeous light. Then your skin sparkles like a diamond. You're like a big magnificent diamond sculpture in it..."

Demetri looked speechless. Was he that surprised about my description of him in my meadow? Did I somehow offend him when all I meant was to eplain how he awes me. How he makes me feel like I do have someone to fall back on. How he makes ma feel in general...

"Demetri, if I offended you I am so sor-" I was cut off by his next action. An action that made me feel like my stomach had butterflies in it. It made me see fireworks in my beautiful meadow...An action in which he smashed his lips to mine...


	6. When our hearts meet

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I am in no way associated with the author of the fabulous saga so I must make it clear to you that this is mearly just a fanfic of my doing and imagination for the purpose of testing my writing skills and letting readers get pleasure from reading it.**

**Not A Stranger:**

_When our hearts meet;_

As fast as Demetri's lips had touched mine he flew off of me. It all happened too fast to catch up with. As Demetri struck the wall that was behind him he gasped out in pure pain.

I was by his side in a second, hoping that he wasn't hurt too much,"Demetri! Oh, I am so sorry! I do-don't even know what just happened!" Looking at the angel's face was bringing back the slight feeling of his lips on mine and the feeling of having butterflies in my stomach. My lips felt like they were buzzing from an electric shock.

I immediately put a finger on my lips to make sure that I wasn't going crazy. The thought of kissing Demetri made me feel ditzy and more like my previous human self. It made my meadow clearer, made me see Demetri in a different light in it. I could see him clearer now, as if I had only seen him in a fog before, not really noticing everything about him.

Even though our lips had met for only a second I would still cherish the moment.

"I just felt... a very painful... shock..." It looked as if he needed every breathe he was taking just so he could say a few words. What had I done to him...?

"Demetri, please say something that can reassure me! Oh, please!" I was starting to really panic now. If I got too out of control then I might hurt Demetri even more than he already was.

"It was nice to finally kiss you..." I looked down at him and slipped to the ground, putting his head in my lap. He closed his eyes and relaxed at my touch. I was happy and pleased to be able to make Demetri relax. It was a feeling I liked.

I could not think of anything to reply with so I opted to try once again. I leaned my head down, inching closer and closer to Demetri's face. At the very last minute I just put my face in the crook of his neck.

I breathed in his enticing scent and felt myself relax. His scent was so excilerating that I wished I could bathe in it every second of every day.

"Bella...I want to tell you how I feel. How I've felt about you for a while now. Whenever you are around me, I feel like I have a way out of a living nightmare. You make me feel like there is hope for me in having a mate and I think that, mixed with our feelings for eachother, we may be...mates," Demetri whispered softly into my ear.

My eyes widened at the possibility of being Demetri's mate. Could it really be? Could we share such a strong bond that would tie us together forever until death? Could we manage something like that?

But the most important question is can I manage a love so great? It seemed that I could not let anyone inside my heart anymore. By the looks it if Demetri and I ever got passionate I would subconsciencely shock him with a great amount of pain. It would all be of my own doing...

Would I be able to live with myself if that ever happened? Would I be able to look at Demetri without shame in my expression?

But, of course, if we were meant to be together then there would be some way to rip out of the thorns binding us and set out love free. And could we really call anything between us real love yet? I could not move on as fast as light. It could take forever to get over the initial fact that I was lead to believe that I was loved and then left all alone.

"Demetri...You know that I cannot move on so fast. I could hurt you again!" I was hoping that he wouldn't hear the raw panic in my voice.

"Bella, we don't know for sure that it was you." Demetri sounded like he knew that it was me who had accidently shocked him but he was acting against his knowledge just to make me happier. But it wasn't working. Not after all the horrible thoughts of the shock that was not called upon that went through my head.

"Demetri, no one else would shock you and you know that my shocks lash out at anyone enar me at times because of my emotions. Please don't say that it isn't my fault!" I lifted my head up and stared into his alluring eyes.

"You sound like you don't want to go beyond the prospect of being friends. If that makes you happy then I shall abide with your wishes." Before I could say anything in protest to him he was out of the room, having left me on the sitting on the floor.

He had sounded so hurt and I cursed myself for making him feel the misery. That is what I had wanted to show him, that I would always conflict hurt and pain to anyone around me. I wasn't ready and my shield was trying to protect my heart from any further damage. If something stayed up for a long time, it would be hard to take it all down.

The shield that had covered up my memories was something easy like an exercise but taking down a shield from my heart would be the opposite of easy. It would be painful as I would start to remember the events which lead me to unconsciencely put up a shield around my heart to prevent anymore heartache.

I did love Demetri, enough to say no to him if it meant to protect him. Now I saw how Edward had felt when he first left me. He had made me believe it was for a different reason so that I'd hate him and let him go but it alwasy to protect me from him and his family. He had been afraid that I might get hurt beyonf repair and so he left. Of course, it still hurt when he had left because it meant that I had to do without him.

Could I bare to conflit such pain on Demetri who had already gone through enough? Maybe I could because in my eyes I seemed like a very selfish being, gready and shameless on the inside. I would never know for sure since everyone has secrets that they keep from themselves. Secrets that they are not willing to come to terms over.

Maybe I could love again but Edward made it so that I could not love for the time being. He awoke the suspicions and defensiveness in my being and let them loose to do their jobs.

I got up and walked towards the door. I opened it and before walking out I looked back over my shoulder. The room was a spare so Demetri wouldn't be tortured if it was his room. I left silently and made my way to my chamber so that I could let myself go in my thoughts without being disturbed.

As my thoughts went on my meadow came into clear view in my mind. My mind was telling me that it would be better to forget about my worries and relax in the confines of the meadow. And, of course, I listened to whatever it had to say.

Laying back on my bed I let my mind drift to the images of my meadow. Everything was the same except that Demetri was no where in sight. The more I imagined the beautiful scene the more it seemed to be like a movie. It was like the control of it was slipping away from me.

I knew that I needed to visit Alec again for the dose of the perfect images from my meadow to take place. And I knew that I needed the dose soon.

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_**A/N:**_

_Okay, I know, shit chapter. Short one. I wanted to make it longer but I couldn't come up anything more to say in it. So it had to be left as it is now. Maybe later on, when I'll be finishing up, I might go back and see if the chapters need any improving in my point of view._

_I hope you have a great Christmas. I won't update before then so don't review saying 'Update soon' because I won't update 'til New Year then. If no one goes about telling me to uppdate then I'll update on the 26th because I'll be off then and totally relaxed._

_So I'm not joking about the rushing bit. It's awesome that you want me to update because you obviously lie the fanfic or you are just being very polite but I've warned you that the next chapter comes out on the 26th and if any of you rush me then I'll update the week after that. You'll just have to wait even longer then, like..._

_I'm not trying to be mean or point out that I hate it when people rush me, I'm just telling when the next chapter is going to be out and that I hope you actually read these notes. I guess I'll find out if anyone decides to post a review telling me to hurry up with the updates!_

_By the way, you can visit this site if you want...Go on....com/_

_-MM-_


	7. I know you see

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and so I am here telling you just that. This is just for the pleasure of readers.**

**Not A Stranger:**

_I know you see;_

It seemed like forever had passed before I decided to finally go up to Alec and ask him to let me have a few more precious minutes under his power so that I could feel a bit of relief again. But I more like begged him for it.

I had hoped that Alec would be in his chamber, alone, so that I could ask him for the antidote to my problems. When I reached his room I whispered if I could come in for a second to ask for something, my voice pleading.

When Alec allowed me to come in it seemed as if he knew what I had come to ask of him. He sighed and nodded to me before I even asked."Lie down and I'll get started as soon as you are ready." Was the only thing he said before I lay down on one side of his bed and closed me eyes and let him know that I was ready with a stiff nod.

When I felt the threadings of the previous sensation of nothing I relaxed and focused my mind solemly on my meadow. It wasn't like last time. Last time it was a simple thing to do. A thing that was like a definition of me. But now it was harder.

I paniced at the prospect of not being able to ever again see my precious meadow. Would I be stuck forever without the images from my meadow? I knew that all I had to do was try to imagine it but it felt so much more real when I was under the use of Alec's power.

I would miss the perfect scene where the sunset shone like gold, the flowers blossomed without a care, and where Demetri's twinkling laughter filled the air around me.

Slowly an image started to appear. The colours were a soft texture and there was a lot of shades. The image didn't even appear fully and I already didn't like it. It lacked the sharp colours that my beloved image owned. There was barely any life in it by the looks.

What scared me was that it _was_ my meadow. The scenery was the same but all it was missing was life. Life that had brought the sun to live like a shiny gold penny. Life that had offered the flowers a life where they could blossom and seem to never die. Life that had congered up the perfect image of my Demetri. The Demetri that had no care what-so-ever in his perfect bubble of a life. And then he let the life roll on, over everything in the meadow. It was like he added more meaning to the hope shining bright in it. And then in the end that life and hope would sweep over me and let me feel happiness and love. Life.

When the feeling of life blossoming swept over me the last time I had visited my land of meaning it felt as if I was falling backwards into a field of cherry blossoms. The scent sufficating any other aroma around me except for one. The rich scent of blackberries was thick around me and when it mixed with the cherry blossoms it was a devine scent that seemed unforgetable. Yet when I left it slipped away until I tried congering thoughts of the meadow up again.

And, of course, there was no Demetri or I would have heard his melodic laughter by now. It left me almost heartbroken that he was no there. As if he had forgotten a meeting that was very important to me. I knew it was not a case like that. But it still left a sore spot in my heart.

I had felt that I could rely on him to at least show in my images and thoughts of the meadow. It was like he was the main thing in it. And he was. He was like the sun of my personal bubble. A sun that was hoping to brighten my day.

I whimpered at the lack of him. He _had_ to be there. Be there for me like he had been before. I knew that I was being selfish but at this point I did not really care about something like selfishness because it did not exist in the vampire world. It was instead called passion for a person or object.

I did not care because after telling myself all my human life that I couldn't be selfish because it was unfair to other people I was up to my throat with feelings that were a real burden. I felt that it was unfair on me for always going out of my way just to make someone else happy when they could not return the favour since we were of different ranks to eachother.

This time a groan escaped my lips. I did not want to groan as it might have alerted Alec that I wasn't having the best of times in this round. That would have caused him to recoil his power so that I could 'awake' again.

And that's what he did.

"Bella! I could practically feel the feeling of death looming over you! What did you see this time? Why do you keep doing this to yourself? You're breaking yourself apart bit by bit and you don't even see it!" His paniced voice brought me out of my aftermath thoughts. I didn't want to panic Alec because for him I had feelings such as a sister would have for a brother. And so I didn't have the feeling that he wouldn't be able to repay me back for my being going out of my way just to put a stop to his misery.

"It felt like everything was dead! There was no life at all this time...No Demetri...no sun...no colours..." I trailed off from my little burst. Alec's arms wrapped around me in a comforting hug and I saw that he had been holding me in a sitting position since I had gotten back from my reprieve of my washed out meadow.

I hugged him back, holding him so tight as if my life was slipping away from the grasps of my hands. I began to cry and it pained me not to cry with tears leaking out from my tear ducts. It seemed as if crying had had a purpose then because then it looked like the person was actually suffering from one thing or another.

"Calm down, Bells...Shh, there now. Remember, the sun always comes up even if it may seem like it never will."His words filled a bit of the empty space in my heart.

I was still heartbroken after it felt so right when Demetri had kissed me that the thought of spending forever without a lover by my side almost killed the rest of me.

"It seemed so awful. Like it was all coming apart or moving on while I still wasn't ready. It just seemed...dead."

"Bella. You have had your heart broken by lies and so you were given a chance to forget about your pain and relax so that you could possibly feel other emotions. But you were so afraid of letting go that you created a shield that resisted a bit of my power. With that little bit of space that your mind had to spare you imagined a place that you could escape to. But, Bella, that was an image, a dream, a reprieve. Not something real. You're killing yourself because of something you created. Do you think we want to see you like this? No, we don't! Especially Demetri. Do you know how hard it was for him to let himself go around you? Do you know how restless he seemed because he was battling a war deep inside over you? No, you don't! You don't know those things because you are not a realist who loves to make up an excuse to escape from the firn grasp of reality. You get so caught up in things such as your meadow that you don't notice how much you hurt people!"

His being bursting out like that surprised me that my sobs stopped racking through my body. Was he right in saying that I made stuff up just to escape from the cold, hard whip of reality? And that I was hurting everyone by doing so? I went over his words again.

He spoke of Demetri's pain as if it should have been plainly obvious to me. But if he was right, which it seemed he was, he should have known that I wasn't the reality type of being and that I couldn't live in a world like that. A world that delivered pain with a little cheer at the end. If I was still human I could picture myself on drugs, wanting to get rid of life's problems. It was almost the same thing with me now. It was like Alec's power was a serious drug for me. A drug that I had quickly come to like and infatuate over.

I knew that my meadow was just some image of a field with flowers and trees in it. But it had felt so much more than just that. And Alec seemed to sum up the fact that by trying to get rid of my own pain I brought more pain to everyone else. I definitely seemed like a selfish being. A being who would succumb into the thought of getting rid of all feeling altogether.

I knew I was selfish but how could I stop if I felt he need to stop myself from feling pain anymore? Alec and everyone else obviously saw me as a selfish creature who fed on the drugged thoughts of a meadow and the happiness that was found in it. If I was still human I might almost have been locked up with a straight jacket on.

My las emotion surprised me even more. I felt anger boil in the depth of my stomach, waking up all my nerves. Did he not know how much pain he brought to me by just saying those words? How it made it even harder to fight for freedom after all that I have been through? That it made it harder for them to watch me suffer?

"You had no right to say that to my face! Do you know how hard it has been on me all these years. First not knowing a thing about myself then finding out that the stranger who Aro was talking to was my previous love. A love that wasn't even real. Then all these emotions come crashing down on me! It is very hard!" My breathing was shallow, even though it was not needed.

I quickly got up of the bed that we were both sitting on and ran ou the door, leaving a slightly shamed Alec.

I was being selfish but it was not a great time for being reminded of my actions. I raced towards the throne room where there was supposed to be another group of people arriving soon. This was going to be messy since I have never really been one for drinking while trying to stay clean.

I entered the chamber just before the humans came in so that I wouldn't have enough time to look at Demetri standing across from me. And before anyone else could I let the thirsty beast within me loose to drink up the pleasure of the blood that would spill everywhere.

__________________________________________________________  
_**Note:**_

_I said the time before last that I would update on the 26th of December as long as no one told me to update soon. And somebody did review saying update soon. I see they didn't read the last note or else they are sadistic. So you can thank that person for the postponed chapter update. No problem about the us. thing._

_Sorry to anyone who wanted the chapter to be out on the 26th._

_-MM-_


	8. I do not want to be afraid

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**My lovely beta reader helped me, so thank you very much to Southern Amateur!**

**Not A Stranger:**

_I do not want to be afraid;_

I shouldn't have been so mean and rude to Alec but the animal inside of me that yearned to yell out and smash things had come up to the surface but then drowned back down.

That animal lead me on in drinking the blood of the humans that had stepped into the throne room. I had drunk from approximately twelve human beings and then I had to be ripped off the rest because I was going over board with it. Everyone had complained about my hunger so I had to be kept out of the throne chamber whilst everyone else ate.

I had gotten a little sad that they didn't let me stay. It's not like a vampire can actually have restrictions. Or that they should, anyway. So I was currently in my room, reading one of my favourite books whilst sitting in my favourite armchair by the window of my perfect niche.

My room was just some place that was part of me. I made it my safe heaven so that I could be comfortable in it. It may have looked plain but to me it seemed over done some way. I had even asked if I could paint it the pale blue that it was. In some forms to me it seemed boring but in other cases it was my mind. A memoir of my old bedroom back in the town I used to live in with my father for the last years of my humane lifestyle.

I was brought out of my reading distraction by a gentle knock on my door.

As I cleared my throat Jane's head peaped through the door. "I needed to talk to you and now is as good a time as any." Her voice was the way it always was. Cold, unemotional and unfeeling.

"I guess..." I nodded towards the other chair in the room, the one that was nearer to the canopy bed.

She sighed before shaking her head no."Everything is 'I guess' with you, Isabella. You should _know_ instead." I knew that she always had a cold shoulder but I was apart of the guard she was in so she should have grown up mentally and at the least not spoken to me. She needed to get over whatever problem she had with me, once and for all.

"What did you need to speak to me about?" I hoped that she would quickly say it and be done with because I was not in the mood for anything she had to truly say to me. I hadn't been in the mood for anything except eating and reading.

"I had heard what you had yelled at my brother and I am not happy about it. You should learn your place here. It is definitely not anywhere where you can say that to one like us. Except maybe the scum Cullens." She really knew how to end someone's day in a horrible way.

"Is that all?" I looked up from my book to have my eyes meet with the cold, burgundy ones that belonged to the girl standing at my door.

"You should learn to restrain your anger in future. You don't want to hurt anymore people, do you?" It really sounded cruel, even coming from Jane. She said it in such a cruel manner, that it didn't even sound like her usual self. It was almost like a sneer mixed with the coldest snide remark. And it stirred up a feeling of wrong. A strong one.

She had said the same thing as Alec. About my being hurting others around me. And it was true. I was being cruel myself and to myself I seemed to be innocent and almost pathetic.

That made me think about my human life. Then I really used to be innocent and pathetic, tagging along after a man who wasn't even my real mate. I now remembered how needy it must have seemed to others. Before I had moved to Forks for good I used to be somewhat care free, not as serious as I had become when I met Edward. I guess it was the feeling of him laughing at my stupid thoughts that brought on the whole change, because he was too serious in the little relationship we had. I had taken it too seriously.

"Well, I will take my leave now." Jane turned around and quickly walked out the door. She knew that she could hurt me with almost anything she said and she knew that it had worked this time. She was definitely clever and she could hide it so well...

I sighed quietly and looked down at my book again. It was _'The Picture of Dorian Gray', _a book I found awfully fantastic. It showed so much of our daily lives that it was almost frightning. The closure to out true forms showed no mercy. Oscar Wilde really had done a wonderful job in showing the world how a man liked his life. To be happy but pressured to be good in the public eye. What a pity it was that Dorian Gray was showed only that kind of way of leading life.

I sighed again and closed the book. It was time that I apologized to Alec and Demetri. It was that very thing that tore me apart inside. But I knew that if I ever was to face either one without shame written all across my face then I had to stand up and say my apologies because otherwise I was going to not only look but _be_ a shameful coward to everyone around me. It was like baring my soul to everyone.

I slowly stood up and put down the book. I was trying to drag the time out and I knew that it was a sign of cowardice.

_Bella, you are acting weaker than a human being_, I told myself. It worked by starting a quiet flame of anger in me. I knew that when I got angry I said anything that was on my conscience and that would do me in the time being.

I quickly waltzed out the door of my chamber and went along the quiet corridors of the ancient building. I was hoping that I could corner Alec and Demetri alone again. It would be hard to apologize in front of the others especially since it was embarrassing enough to apologize for such horrid mistakes. But it was do-able.

It didn't take long to find Demetri. He was browsing the corridors much like myself, except he wasn't looking for anyone.

"Demetri..." He spung around to look at me. His face turned into a blank mask as if he wanted to hide all his eotions from me to show me how much I had hurt him.

"Isabella, hello. Didn't get a chance to say so earlier on." I could have killed myseld for hurting the man in front of me because it hurt me inside how he was talking to me. It was as if we were mere acquitances who agreed on some notes of things."I'm sorry but I'm rather busy." And now he was trying to get away from me.

"Please don't go! I am so sorry for the way I had acted. It just scared me a little, to be able to be a my possible mate. I just never felt like that before." The weight of things came crashing down on my shoulders. And so from the pain of misery I fell to my knees before Demetri.

He didn't say anything for a moment and I began to feel like a complete fool, standing on my knees, ashamed for my mistakes. I could feel the numb feeling coming over me. I guess it was worth a try if anything.

"Why were you scared?" He finally asked. It was not what I had wanted or hoped for but it was a true question.

I looked up at him."I was scared because it just felt so new and so very different. I had never known the feeling of being loved by someone who isn't my family. I didn't know what it felt like to be loved and I still don't. Please, forgive me for my stupid feelings!"

I felt Demetri's strong hands grip my fore arms as he lifted me up."Bella, your feelings aren't stupid, they're there to protect you from any harm. I was stupid because I didn't give you any chance to explain or anything the like. I just figured one thing and went with it. But it really hurt me to hear you say that you got scared."

"But I don't want to be scared. I want to live, Demetri. To be a free soul." I fell smitten in his hold. It felt so right now, the way he held me in his arms. It felt like my perfect safe heaven. A feeling that let me know that I could be myself all over again. I feeling I wanted to live in.

"Well, then, if you choose to live like that then it would be my pleasure to set you free." The corners of his lips curved up into a smile and lit up his whole face. I could only muster up a weak smile of my own. But it wasn't so hard to do it.

Demetri's soft lips leaned in on mine and then they pressed together. If it wasn't for the spasm of my shock hitting Demetri then we could have stayed like that forever.

I could feel Demetri's body vibrating against mine. I knew that my shock must hurt but he didn't move away. I could see that he truly wanted to be happy with me and so he was trying to ignore the electrifying shock going through his body.

I quickly broke away from the kiss when Demetri gasped."Demetri, please, I don't want to hurt you in any way!" It was like a warped game. If I let myself get passionate with Demetri then I would hurt him without even meaning to with my shock but if I turned him down like that everytime a moment like it would hurt him as well. I wished it could be easier because I definitely didn't want to hurt Demetri.

"Don't worry. It didn't hurt that much." I saw right through his lie. It wasn't that hard since he was panting from the sting of undeniable pain.

"I know it hurt, Demetri. Please don't try to cover that up." When I finished Demetri sighed and sagged in my arms. I nearly gasped at the weight of him.

"I can still feel the sting. Can you try get me to a chair or something, please?" I nodded quickly and wrapped my arms around him more securally.

It didn't take as long as I thought it would to get Demetri to the nearest room. There were no chairs so I just layed his body on the vacant bed. He groaned when his body hit the matress lightly.

I paniced. "Wait, I'll go get someone. Uh, I'll- I...I'll be right back." I placed a light kiss on Demetri's forehead before racing to the throne chamber where I hoped to find Aro. He would help me out of my panic attack. He could then get Alec to help numb the stinging shock still present in Demetri's system.

**Note:**

_Alright, this was meant to come out at the very end of February but I needed it to come out now because I want to ask anyone who likes Harry Potter couples Hermione and Severus to please read my new fanfiction. I want to see how well I can write a serious Hermione/Severus fanfic and I need critism and all that to support me. Th eproblem so far is that I have not gotten any reviews for it yet. I would appreciate it if you could read it and tell me how it is, though you do this at your own will meaning I'm not pushing you into writing a review you have no real interest in posting. _

_Well, I've never stuck to schedules for updates and I may never do so. But I have this feeling that you will like one chapter being posted earlier than planned, it's something I sometimes like myself. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I worked my butt off to try and make Jane as much in character as she can get. It took a while to wrok out exactly what she was going to say but this was the best I could write and it was good enough for me to be able to imagine. It's hard enough to be someone like Bella, partly because I don't really even like her (though I have sorted out the problem about that now) and also because it's hard to write about something you have never experienced. I guess this should be the end of the note (it is getting long), so a thank you for your time._

_MM._


	9. I do not want to die inside

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. I would love to own someone though, but no, Stephanie Meyer created theses characters and so she gets to keep them.**

**Not A Stranger:**

_I do not want to die inside;_

Instead of going to the throne room I looked for Alec. If there was anyone who would be able to help Demetri then it was Alec. He would be able to wipe away the pain inside Demetri and let him rest peacefully in the same manner he had let me rest. As I turned a corner I saw Alec going into his chambers."Alec! Wait, please!" I burst into his room, not caring if I was rude or anything because all that mattered right now was that Demetri's pain was put to an end.

"I'm so sorry! I was such a horrible person to you. And after all you did for me...I apologize!" I fell to my knees, crying. I couldn't help but let everything that was bottled up erupt out. It had been so hard to keep them all inside at most of times. It made my heart ache so badly that all I wanted to do was scream. Remembering Demetri and the pain I caused him made me scream aloud."You have to help him! Please!" I sobbed loudly, no tears coming out like they used to when I was human. Crying out my worries and problems had felt like such a tempting action because it was letting the storm out instead of always keeping it in.

"Bella, calm down! What's wrong?" Alec's voice was stiff like he was having trouble keeping himself from screaming. Of course, I must have also let my pain out through my shock. I was hurting Alec physically as well as emotionally. What kind of a being was I? I couldn't even let out my hurt because I would definitely hurt others. Unless I'd learn to control it, but from what happened I had always thought that I had perfect control over the shock. Indeed I don't... "Bella! Please! It's horrible!" Alec's scream brought me back to the present pain that was inescapable. I was opening him up to a pain like never before. A pain that was indefinite to escape from.

"I'm so so-s-sorry, I can't s-top it! Alec you...need to help Demetr-i.." Change around. Alec was wasting time helping me. I needed to get him to help Demetri instead. Demetri needed to live because all I wanted to see was him living and happy. Even if that meant only imagining it from a safe distance where I could not hurt anyone else. If it was that that had to be done then I would do it just to see my loved ones safe and happy. "Alec, you have...to- g-g-g..go. Demetri..." I knew it wasn't possible that I could lose consciousness or fall asleep but it felt like I was slipping away from the still world. Slipping into the sky, going up and up into the clouds. Slipping through a doorway that would lead me to my peaceful end. Even in excruciating pain it felt like a heaven that I could only dream of. A place that followed rules to live in harmony. Maybe they'd accept me there so that I could try and never hurt anyone that ever cared for me.

But how could they accept me in such a place that bore a resemblance from a dreamed heaven? I hurt people just to see them in pain because they didn't abide to the rules of a vampire. I hurt people just to satisfy myself. But hurting the ones I loved was the worst pain I had ever felt and feeling it made me think about all the others that I hurt. Their loved ones would have suffered the pain of watching those they cared for suffer my dire consequences.

Slowly a light started to float closer to me. It was blinding. Could this be glory itself? The light held such a beautiful shine even though it was just plain white light. The glory could only belong to one along...

Can I really enter a place such as heaven? With the one there, watching me stand before him? Nothing like that could happen...

_Bella._

The voice was like silk running up my arms, causing me to shiver from the pleasure. Yes? The pain was slowly numbing away. He was making it go away like I had always thought He might. He alone had the power and glory to take anything like that away. He could give something to someone if He thought they were worthy of it, but He could also take away anything he gave if He thinks the being does not deserve it any longer.

_Bella._

The silk voice wrapped me inside it like a spider wrapping a fly in the cocoon of web. It made me want to search out the warmest place on earth to heat myself up. But I was not on earth anymore. I was on a place close to heaven. Just a door away. A fraction of light...

_Bella._

It felt like the silk started to tie itself around my limbs. Tightening itself so that I started to panic, thinking that I would loose my breath and die. Please no...

_Bella._

Just come and take me away from the heaven that was now starting to turn into a hell. A place under heaven...under earth...under anything living. Was I now getting my punishment for hurting all the beings that I had ever hurt? I knew that He could and would do it if he wanted to. It was an act of justice on His part. He would be doing a good deed, banishing me from his place of light. He always did good deeds, it was just wrong if He ever did bad deeds. It would be wrong. But when He made man He, in creating Man, somewhat overestimated his ability because looking around ourselves we found people who only searched to quench their pleasures. To be good when they are only happy. It drew us to do things to protect ourselves, not caring about the others. To build ourselves the biggest treasure while we watch the poorer fall down to the lowest, darkest part of life.

_Bella, wake up._

_Wake up?_ How could I ever wake up again? If I was not dead I still would not be able to wake up. I was an immortal that would not need to breathe, sleep, feed like a human or have any traits as a human would. But if I could ever again wake up why would I? To face a world that so many try to escape from? I was selfish enough to push away from the thought of ever waking up from a slumber that could be my heaven again.

_You need to wake up now, Bella. This is not your place. You have to go back._ The voice seemed to be a scream and whisper at the same time. I knew what it was like, how it sounded, but I could not explain. It seemed too hard. Too unexplainable to man kind.

"Wake up, Bella. You must wake up! Please!" It was a cry that sounded like it came from a child. No child in the world should ever have to utter those kind of words. As if they were in the gravest of dangers and no one around cared enough to help. No, it was coming into better focus and it just sounded like belonged to someone young. Please don't let me hurt anyone else. It would be unbearable for me to see them in pain and then go through the same pain myself.

If you care for the ones you love then wake up for them. So even if it meant going through my own hell and punishments I should wake up and face whoever needed me. And if I did not wake up then I would be just like those people who run away when someone needs their help. A coward who couldn't face anyone without a mask upon their face.

_Alright, I will wake up_. Though it could and possibly would cause me great pain to see the faces of the ones I loved just because I loved them enough to hurt them it would be worth it. Because maybe, just maybe, I would get to see Demetri. Demetri, my angel, my personal angel...

"Bella! Wake up!" It was a more familiar voice. A voice of an angel. It was the voice of a scared and desperate man who was tired. Was I not hurting them all right now by not doing as I was asked in despair? Of course I was. Pain rushed back as my head started to throb. I flinched with each throb. It hurt too much to see the faces of loved ones, especially when you new you were hurting them.

"She's waking up! Bella, can you hear me? Don't speak, just nod or make a sound," a third voice instructed me. I did not want to know how much it would hurt if I nodded so I resided with making a noise. From the depth of my chest came a growl. As it rumbled through my throat it ached even though I had just had blood. But the voices had pleaded for me to wake up. He told to wake up. I could have been asleep for a while and it did feel like a while since my throat burned as if I'd gone on hunger strike for days.

"Good. Tell Heidi to bring some humans here. Bella needs blood. Go now." It was the voice of a leader. Aro. What was he doing here? Had I not gone looking for Alec alone?

"Bella, you're awake. You scared me. When Alec said there was no response from you what-so-ever." It was my angel. Demetri. I felt a little shock go through me. It was a tingly type of shock like butterflies in your stomach. It was one of pleasure. Instead of making a noise, this time I let that little shock echo through everyones system. Everyone who was there anyway.

"Bella, we were all so worried. One second you were crying for Alec to get Demetri and then you were out cold, literally." It was Felix this time. As he chuckled my eyes fluttered open to see Alec, Demetri and Felix right in front of me.

I felt around to see that I was in a chair, in my chamber. The curtains were shut, only dim light filtered in through them.

Before I could reply the door opened and Heidi stepped in with a human trailing after her. Then two more came after the first.

"I hope this will be satisfactory."

Aro nodded and smiled at the human beings." It is a pleasure to have you here right now. Our sleeping beauty needs to wake up and what better way than having you here?"

One of the humans looked at me, silently asking questions that no one would want to answer. "Well, we should just go now." And everyone except the humans stepped out of the room.

If I wanted to stop hurting people, was this not the first thing to start with? Of course it was, but being selfish I did not want to die like that on the inside.

Drinking the blood of innocent people who had families to go back to was the most immoral thing to do.


	10. Just to breathe in

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Stephanie Meyer owns all of them, she wrote the books and so I do not intend any copyright infringement. I just borrowed these characters for the duration of this fanfic.**

**Not A Stranger:**

_Just to breathe in;_

Wiping away the blood trickling down my jaw and throat I stood up and made my way to the door. I looked back at the humans lying on the floor of my room and felt guilt stir in my stomach. A few moments ago all I wanted was to stop hurting everyone but I was going to hurt the people who were related to the ones that I had drank from.

I should have been grateful to Him for letting me live but I did not want to live because that meant watching the world decay around us all.

There was nothing to believe in anymore. Once it seemed to have a meaning but all pain that I knew of just pointed out that there is no meaning.

I used to believe that there was always a reason for His doings but it didn't seem so now. It seemed like we were mice that were to be tested on just to see if everything was worth it. It didn't seem so to me. Nobody wanted to be used for nothing.

To me it felt like there should always be a reason, a mission in life, an unfinished business that we should complete. It was just hard knowing what that unfinished business is.

I opened the door and stepped out. Looking to my left I saw Alec leaning against the door. It didn't take me long to know what I had to do."Sorry. I'm sorry. So...sorry." It felt like tears were going to pile up behind my lids even if they would never spill. They'd never even pile up, they'd never form because my body could not form something like that. My body was dead so it could not function like that ever again.

"You don't need to apologize, Bells." Just by saying so it made his light shine bright. He was almost like a saint... In my eyes he was. But he also made me feel more guilt.

"I do need to apologize. And I _want_ to apologize!" Quiet sobs started to rack my body as I came closer to Alec. _Please let him forgive me for my selfish acts._

"Bella, don't. Don't, you're only going to hurt yourself more." His pleading voice stopped me in my tracks. What was he saying? Not knowing what to do I voiced my thoughts.

"What are you saying? That I shouldn't apologize for hurting you?" But I should apologize. I wanted to.

"You can apologize but I don't need your apologies." My knees began to feel weak even though it wasn't possible. If he was saying what I thought he was saying then he knew that it would only cause us both pain. He would feel my pain, the pain that always racked through my body like an earthquake."I don't want to hear your apologies anymore."

"Alec...no, please. You need to understand that I really am s-o-o-rry._ I'm sorry_!" My knees gave out from under me and I collapsed onto the hard marble floor. He couldn't be saying those words. I said I was so sorry for ever hurting him the way I always did. He _knew_ that.

Alec sighed and bent down to put his hands under my armpits. He lifted me up and set me on my feet but I only fell back down at his feet.

"Alec, you need to understand that I'm sorry. I need you to understand. Please!" My sobs were now louder, loud enough for him to hear. The pain wasn't present just because I had just drank blood and so I had better control. Last time it didn't seem to be the same case.

"I don't want to understand,"he said while sighing again. He bent down and picked me up by my arms. This time he didn't let go of me but held on so that I wouldn't tumble to the floor again.

"But...please! Alec! If you don't want me to be in pain then why are you doing this?" The pain mightn't be there but being let down like that was enough. It hurt more than it seemed.

"Let's get you back inside your room." With that he lifted me up and over his shoulder. I may have even laughed if it weren't for the mood hanging over us like it was.

Kicking the door open quietly Alec made his way over to my bed and layed me down. His eyes were dark, but not from hunger but from his mixed emotions. I didn't know what he was going through because I never had had a friend who like myself. Almost begging for the attention I would get from being hurt. It made me see myself in a new light.

"Alec...don't do this to me." My voice didn't hold any of it's usual beauty anymore. It was like a croak. It was dry and hurt my throat to utter the words.

"Don't do this to me, Bella. It hurts in the end after every time I forgive you. I've just noticed how it always turns out. You've hurt me in more ways than one and you always do it again in the end. By mistake or not. I can't take it anymore. _It hurts_!"His voice wasn't any better then mine.

I knew that one day He would punish me for my ways and so here he was. And this punishments was of the worst kind. I wished that tears would have flooded my eyes because then it'd be hard to see things. I would have an excuse to close my eyes then. If I could still be human I wouldn't be able to help myself in any way.

"Alright then." It was all I could say. I knew that it would just pain him more if I kept apologizing. _So I might as well give up on everything._

I knew that I couldn't make Alec stay if all he wanted was to stay away from me. It would be making him do something against his will. And I didn't want to do anything to make him hate me any more than now.

He looked sideways at the door and then back at me. I nodded at the door, he obviously wanted to get out of the room. I also gave him a wry smile, I just didn't want to care anymore. If it was possible to care any more than that then I would have basked in that glow of light because that was something that I always wanted to do. To care about everyone so that it was hard to hurt them.

He nodded back in reply and strode over to the door."Aro wanted to see you. He said you have a visitor." That spiked my curiousity. A visitor here for _me_? Who would ever visit me? Who would risk going to the Volturi just to see someone in it, the Volturi were known as sadistic overlords. Proved how little they could ever know of a family who hid their affections from the world.

"Alright." When the door closed shut I stood up and made my way to one of the two windows in my room and pulled back the curtains to reveal the sun casting a dim light over the town. It seemed like there was a cloud of sadness hanging over it instead. It no longer basked in the only glory it could have. The glory that onced showed as a beautiful town. Now it just loooked too old for beauty.

I turned back around and meandered around the many chairs strewn around the room to the door. Opening it I stepped back out into the hallway. It had always felt like this place never had enough people in it. It was too quiet.

I could scarecely remember making my way to the throne chamber where I knew Aro would be. It was such a memorised route that it almost seemed boring to take now.

I opened the huge doors and went inside where everyone seemed to be gathered. Before I could take another step towards Aro, Cauis and Marcus I was attacked by something from my left.

I couldn't help the gasp that escaped my mouth from the pure surprise of the moment. My attacker hadn't thought that I'd fall over and so they fell with me. Looking up I was even more surprised to see who it was. No wonder nobody in the room made any sign of trying to get my assaltant off of me.

My face broke out into a smile. It seemed that when my world darkened beyond recognision, a bright and lively flame of light appeared and made that dark world of mine brighter. A smile was already etched onto their face, making their eyes brighter, like a childs.

It was dear Alice Cullen.

I was straing into the face of the wonderful Alice Cullen.


	11. I'm tired of feeling numb

**Disclaimer: I do not own any recognisable characters that belong to Stephanie Meyer. There may be some places/people that will be completely made up by me but until then I am not claiming anything...except maybe this plot line (if it's a very original one, that is.)**

**Not A Stranger:**

_I'm tired of feeling so numb;_

Alice was here.

Alice was here...to see _me_. And I had thought that my days would only darken by the passing hours but I was proved wrong by Alice showing up here, smiling as was her usual costume.

"Alice! I am so happy to see you!" Before I had a chance at wrapping her in my arms for a hug she had her arms wrapped tightly around me instead. It felt so right to be embracing her. It was like being a child and hugging the thing you loved most, even if that thing barely meant anything.

"Bella! I'm so sorry that I didn't come sooner, but I tried."She let her arms loosen up around me.

"It's no problem at all because the important thing is that you're here now!" I hugged her again. But before letting her go I leaned into her ear and whispered,"I really need you at a time like this."

Alice seemed to understand what I was implying and so she didn't push the subject. She knew me inside and out, and that was something that I was thankful for right now. She knew which buttons to press and which not to ever touch. She was like the sister that I never had. She was the best that I might ever be able to get. And she truly was the best.

"I saw you faint! Bella, what happened?" Saying that she turned to a dark haired figure next to Cauis. Alec was standing there, looking down at his feet. He seemed to sense that Alice was staring at him and so he lifted his head of dark hair and looked at her.

I saw how his eyes stayed locked on Alice, not daring to stray to my hunched figure even though I was so close to Alice. Jane was right next to him, with her eyes dark and her angelic face baring a frown. She looked more of an anel now than when she smiled because when she smiled it showed the sadistic side of her. It was more like a teasing grin, as if she were watching something wrong but humourous.

She lifted her hand and brushed it against Alec's arm. He looked at her before looking back at Alice.

It was almost as if Jane was jealous that her brother, possibly the only one who somehow understood her, was looking at someone other than her. In her years of vampiric life she had never come across someone who caught her interest. No one like her mate, so some of us decided upon the thought that she might be too young for a mate. So I guess she tried to always look for attention from her brother. It was a costume to seek attention from one's family. And Alec was Jane's true family, as she thought.

"I saw you there with her when she fainted." It didn't sound accusetory but Alec looked uncomfortable anyway. He wasn't used to being spoken to directly like that.

This was Alice and she never points fingers until she had the full facts." Please tell me you helped relieve her of her pain. Please!" Alice voice was coming out rasped and it quivered before she finished. She was going to cry as well. This made her so sad that it was hard not to run out of the chamber in fear of letting it out myself.

"Bella, I was so worried! I ran here as fast as I could. I didn't even bother to figure anything out, I just new that I had to get here. You don't deserve any of this. Except the loving family you have around you." And Alice would always be apart of that family.

"We try to do our best." It was Demetri who spoke up. It seemed that he was speaking on behalf of almost everyone in the room and that made my unbeating heart fill with adoration and love. Just knowing that these people cared about me was something that I would treasure for ever.

I smiled, a pure and rich smile. I knew that these people were my family, even with someone like Jane who seemed to hate me just for ever living in the same space as her.

All I could do was smile again and lean down to Alice's ear to whisper a thank you. She really would be there for me whenever I needed her.

She returned the smile and stood up. She reached her hand down to help me get up and I took it even though I didn't need it. I guess she was accustomed to a more human way of life.

As I got up thoughts about fainting filled my mind and brought a tinge of the old pain. Swallowing down the imagined lump in my throat I tried to wash away the thoughts and reminders. This was the moment where I could try and start to begin a new life where I didn't hurt or kill anyone who did not deserve it.

"I am so sorry that I had to go so fast last time. I knew that you'd want me to stay a bit longer but I couldn't leave Jasper. It's Maybella that causes the pro..." she trailed off before finishing the sentence. There was something in her voice that gave away the feeling of being left out of something.

She was leaving something out and I had perfect proof of that. Maybella did cause the problems, didn't she? If only she kept away from danger then maybe Edward would never have showed up. Unless he decided to change her because then he'd have to show her to the Volturri. I wish she never existed, leaving Edward with the guilt he still had inside him about leaving me in horrible conditions. Serves him right to leave anyone who he tried to love once like that. I guess it just showed that he was uncertain about his feelings and thoughts.

"It's alright. You're here now." I mumbled, looking down at my feet, afraid to let my emotions show at the moment. This was something I would only share with her and where no one else can hear. Demetri already seemed to understand how I felt. "Well, I hope that you can stay for a while longer this time?"

"Oh, of course, Bella! I'll stay until I'm no longer welcome!" I could see her mind working for a compromise if she ever needed one again. That was like a dagger in the back, thinking that she could possibly be trying to think of a promising compromise if she ever needed it.

I shook my head and smiled. I should at least be happy that she was there, right? True that it felt she was there just to show that she may care but it was something instead of nothing.

"Would you like to accompany me on a hunt? I need to feed if I want to go round to the shops later on!" The light twinkle in her eyes was back and more prominent than the last time. I could sense that it was more than just a hunt that she was looking forward to. This was Alice and nothing was simple with her, no matter how much little information you gave her she'd still go looking for the full load.

"Of course." I turned to look at Aro, silently asking for permission. He nodded curtly and returned to his casual position in his chair. Before anyone else could say anything I raced out the doors with Alice on my heels. She had clearly predicted my exit, and I knew it wasn't the kind she enjoyed.

We passed the many corridors that led towards the back entrance to the alley that I had gone through some few years ago with Alice, Edward, Demetri and Felix. I had never used that alley way before and it wasn't a true intention of mine but I didn't want to seem like I was sore to Alice. Especially when she was so good at reading me.

I jumped through the shoot first, Alice following silently. A few seconds later we were making our way deep into the forest that continued on out of Volterra.

I stopped when I could no longer strongly smell the slightly lingering scent of Alice. I went a few steps back, following the sweet smell of rasberry and orange back to where she had stopped. "Is this a good spot?" I almost wished that we were back in the Throne chamber with Aro and the rest of the Volturi. It felt like the tension between Alice and myself was suffocating. There was no twinkle in her eyes, which seemed as hard as our ranges' skin.

"It's alright here." She said as if I hadn't just asked her anything, giving out a command instead.. Was she purposely trying to dry all the happiness out of my being? It seemed ridiculous but it seemed true, especially as she gave me one of her serious, yet stone like, stares.

"What's going on?"

"The thing is I don't want Edward to ever see you again."

I stared at her. Why was she saying this? "What?"

"Edward must never see you again. You must be tormenated and out of his life. I can see that he's not fully over you. No vampire can forget a human's blood scent. And he's tasted you before so it's much harder for him. I don't want him to have dificulties in life." Alice crouched down and picked up a daisy.

She was saying that just because Edward was having trouble being as happy as he wants... I guess I would never count in the circle of people that should be happy. "Why are you doing this? What do you get out of this? This isn't who you are, Alice"

She looked up at me with a sad smile, her eyes full of it. "I just don't want to see him sad. Or you but I must side with him, he is my brother."

"But I'm your friend!" I stepped back, trying to concentrate harder on the words that seemed to go in one ear and straight out the other.

"I have no choice. I saw the future and any way I decide I still see myself killing you."

"What will others think of you? Jasper? Do you really want him to be repelled by you? And think about this; if you do it the Volturi will get you back."

"Bella, all they really care about is being able to kill off the whole Cullen family. Not getting revenge for you. You're just a prize for Aro -because of your powers. You know, I was thinking about them and I came to the conclusion that what happened between you and Edward is what accounted for your being having such extraordinary powers. Especially two."

"What happened between Edward and I is over. We are done with it and we have moved on."

"Except you haven't. I can see it in your eyes. Right now you are more human than you could ever be. With your powers you are wearing your hurt on your sleeve. And now I am being kind to you and Edward. If I kill you I will put you out of your misery and give Edward a clean break."

"Except I'm not going to let you hurt me like that. I do not care about Edward any longer because I have found the right person for me. Someone who has no intention of leaving me behind like your brother."

"Demetri."

"How do you kn-"

"I can see the future. Forgot?" She inclined her head to the side, a dark twinkle now in her golden eyes. But now those golden orbs were rapidly darkening.

"Whatever you saw you have no right to keep in mind. My life is not a sad story to tell to you and other." My own eyes darkened and I snarled. She was trecking too far past the invisible line of secrecy and memories. She was mixing everything up and now all she wanted to do was kill me and yet still enjoy my misery and the little amount of love that I had found as if it were some sappy novel written for the pure entertainment of others.

"But I can't help it. And I just stop can't it right now!" Before I could turn and run back to the Volturi castle Alice had leapt up and flown at me. She hit me, a rock hitting a rock, making sounds of boulders colliding echo through the vast field of trees and bushes.

Snarls escaped her mouth, her eyes completely black. I saw hunger in them and knew that if I acted soon I'd be able to get the upper hand on the fight breaking out because I had fed recently and on human blood.

I swung my hand around her neck and grabbed a hand full of her short hair. Tugging it back, her face came away from my neck. I snarled back in response and threw her off of me using her hair. She flew back and hit a tree. I crouched down and sprung after her and she got up and ran at me. We met in a collision in the middle of the little clearing.

I saw her exposed neck, the hard skin shining like a diamond. I bent my head down and bit into her ivory skin, making a mark that would have last for ever. She cried out in response and pushed me away with all her might. She was still strong for a little figure like the one she was dominant over. "I preferred it when you were human to the bone, Bella, it was much easier!"

I was about to answer back when I felt her teeth sink into my arm. I held in my cry of pain and continued trying to rip her off of me. For soeone so small she was surprisingly good at fighting and tearing into the skin.

"Is this what you're going to let slip onto your slate? You're going to feel this guilt foreve if you do this." I tried to stall her with anything that I could and all I could come up with was telling her how giulty it would make her feel in the future.

"But, Bella, it is for a good cause. Think of it this way; would you rather have a lot of people hurt or just one? One that could be wiped out from existence for the sake of the others? If I kill you I will put an end to Edward's misery and, of course, the rest of my families. I'm doing it because I'm a good person at heart."

I almost laughed out loud. A good person at heart? I could see the little bit of sense but it still meant something scary to me.

"Then before you do it let me know what you meant about your theory of my powers."

"Do you honestly think that I'm going to fall for your time stalling? Nevertheless I would like to see your reaction for my reasoning." She quickly stopped trying to get her teeth on my skin and stepped back.

"Is there much of a reaction that you could get out of me for it?"

"Mhhmm. From the moment Edward met you he couldn't read your mind, so I was led to believe that you had a human mind shield then. And now I see that it has grown stronger and that you can control it. But the true beauty of it all began when Edward left you."

I flinched at the mention of that time. The time that I had felt as if there was a hole in my chest near my heart, as if it could never be fixed. The pain of it rushed back into me and I felt my core burn with disatisfaction.

Alice grimaced at the pain that echoed through her being but continued on. "When he had left you your shield acted on it's own accord to protect you. That was one thing it did to protect you. It branched out and gave you an ability to project a feeling that is overbearing into others so that you would try to use it in order to try and not get hurt. That one amazing shield of yours. Of course, it was all your brain unconsciously. You would never have realized such a prize if I had not just told you. Pity."

I stared at Alice as if she had grown a second head. Branching out of my shield to an almost new power? That was intense and yet deep inside it felt right, like I had finally found the right thing after looking through so many others.

So this was the answer to my previously unsolved mystery of powers. It was mind blowing and I wondered if such a thing could actually happen. Yet there I stood, living proof. Well, living being used lightly.

"This could have been studied and tested. It could have made a revolutionary start in our vampire universe. Yet it must be kept a secret now, a secret a few will always know. But don't worry about that right now."

I sucked in a breath once I realized that Alice was finished with her speech. She could make the most of now and go for the kill or I could stall her longer, and wait for the perfect time to run.

"Maybella. What about her?"

"Maybella? She's just the next human that Edward could find."

"You mean to tell me that she may not even be his mate?"

"Well, no. She is, of course. I guess I should start with my part. It was kind of my fault, my mix up of the human. A few days before you were mneat to arrive at the airport in Seattle I saw a vision of you, though I now realize it was actually Maybella. The vision was of a wedding; Edward and Maybella's wedding. I was so happy to see that Edward was getting married that I immediately zoomed in on the wedding invitation. But all I caught of the female name befor ethe vision ended was the ending; 'bella'. Once I found out your name I thought that the pieces sort of fit. As a human you looked quite alike with Maybella."

"And is she now named Bella by the family?" I asked snarkly.

" 'Course not. We call her May. We don't drive a nail in an already salted wound, we're not total monsters. We are differantiated from you." My anger picked up at the mention that I was a worse monster than her. Or a different type.

"And now I guess the grand finally comes." Before I could let Alice reply I srang out at her. I pushed her with a great force so that she flew back quite a bit. I heard the snapping of several trees but I didn't look as I just took off at a deadly run.

As I ran towards the outskirts of the forest I came across I heavenly scent. It was so familiar that it didn't click with me at first. Then it suddenly overcame me like a tsunami. Demetri was here.

I turned to my left and ran onwards, hoping to come across him and anyone else before Alice caught up to me.

"Bella!" I almost cried out when I heard his amazing voice. It was as if I hadn't heard it in a long time even though no less than fourthy-five minutes had passed. I spotted him standing a little bit ahead and ran straight into his arms.

"And this is exactly what I meant about how you hurt Edward. You will always hurt him if you continue to exist. It;s better for everyone if you seize to that existense."

"What did you say?" Demetri growled out, the words barely coming out of his mouth.

"I know that it is a little unfair but it must be done!"

once I had gotten over my shock of Alice wanting to kill me.

"She's just a prize that can be replaced." Alice quickly launched herself at us. Demetri pushed behind him and moved with such grace that it was unimaginable. He caught Alice's arms as if she were a human, moving at the slowest of paces. Giving a little twist, Demetri snapped Alice's right arm right off her body.

Alice gave a lenghtly groan of pain and then growled. She was losing her stride with a more experienced componant. Her left arm was snapped off next.

"Now we go and you make no wasting attemp of fleeing." It was as if he had done it so many times before and I felt a buzz inside me that said everything from 'He's amazing' to 'I wish he could be so rough with me'. It shocked me at how far my thoughts went. It was so...not like me.

"Trying out for an officer of the law, _chief_?"

"Aro will most definitely not be pleased with you, and you may as well get ready for your own death. Never mind anyone else's." I closed my eyes for a moent and let myself go. If only I could run away from things like these. But voices of reason would always keep me bound here.

Demetri quickly took my hand in his and gave it a little squeeze.

"We better go now." I nodded and moved along side him as he pulled Alice by his other side. A feeling of remource filtered through my mind and entered my core deeply. An ache started out and carried on through my body. I just managed to keep in only my body.

This pain was not meant even for the worst people in this world. It was there and could only be felt by ones like myself, and they carried on taking down numbers of people. I would never have wished this type of thing on anyone. Anyone at all.

**Author's note:**

God, people, I am so sorry for leaving you waiting for so long. I guess I was just getting into the lovely feeling of summer and not having to do homework. And let me tell you it feels awesome!

I want to apologize for that one bit that made Bella look completely out of character in this chapter. The bit where Demetri could get rough with her. All week I've been saying sexual innuendos that it's beginning to even get on my nerves. Yet I keep saying them. Even my humor is becoming different, like the line between hilarious and harsh is blurring. Now enough about that.

I was checking out my best friend's story tha other hour and I saw how many reviews she's gotten for it here on fanfiction and then how many she's got on twilighted. Twilighted outbeated out asses, dudes. So I'm just here again to tell you to go and check it out. The author is LittleBundleOfAcid and the story is As Always, Love Bella. It is awesome, too!

_MM._


	12. Relief exists, I find

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Not A Stranger:**

_Relief exists, I find;_

Aro was almost horrified to learn that Alice had tried to finish me off. And he didn't like it one bit, and me being his favourite guard in the line was a main reason. I didn't think that he would have truly cared if I had no powers and wasn't a good enough fighter. He would have laughed at the thought of Alice killing me, laugh at it with pure glee. It hurt to think so but it was true. If I were not so hard working, a good fighter, or had any powers like the ones I own would he really have even lifted a finger to help me? Despite the fact that I had always -or since I was turned and had become welcome in the slightest bit- counted myself as apart of a large family like this I had to say to myself that Aro had no business trying to untangle the mess in front of him if he did not care.

"I am afraid, Alice, that you cannot get away with such awful manners. You just have to be punished." Aro's voice was just so dismissive that it seemed that he didn't really care about what he was doing. But no matter what I knew that he thought it was a pity to do just that to Alice since he had wanted to gain her for his collection since her power was rather good. And this confused me. Was her power not good enough for Aro to forget what she had tried to do to me? Or was it that he always looked out further for trust and loyalty in the ones that he wanted to keep for himself? So that they wouldn't one day leave and forget about him just to join some other coven in search of freedom? It only seemed that the harder he fought for us and the tighter he held us were the reasons for some vampires' lack of loyalty. Was that why Carlisle Cullen had left the Volturi to start his own coven?

I could almost see the internal battle within Aro as he thought over his decision. But to seem like a good ruler he just had to punish Alice as if she had actually killed me. It made me sad to think that despite the fact that I was now a vampire and was more than capable to look after myself and not have angry vampires chase after me I was still able to put the people I love -or once loved- in danger. It seemed ridiculous that fate was playing so with me.

"Well, I know that you already are going to inform Carlisle so go right ahead." Alice's voice was so distant that it seemed as though she wasn't present at all. It was like she had already made up her mind when she realized that she would never have such freedom as before. But it was strange to see her give up and not even try to plead her case -it just didn't seem like her at all.

"Oh, do not worry about such things, vampire. We will handle everything." Caius said, his voice a drawl like always, showing his excitement at the prospect of watching or getting to kill Alice. It was as if he had no end to his satisfaction in the murder of his own kind -dwindling the numbers lower and lower until it would just come to resorting in turning people of the twenty first century, though I wasn't one to speak about that.

The happiness in his eyes made -figural- my blood boil and inched me to take a wild punch at his face to show him that he wasn't one around here to be happy at anything. If all things considered he should be the one to die.

And with that thought I made up my mind. It had been on my mind for quite some time but now that I had finally made my decision it was time to just go ahead and put a stop to it all.

"Aro, I don't think that it is really appropriate to kill Alice. She made a mistake but she shouldn't be punished for it." I took a step closer to Aro where he sat in his throne. Demetri stretched his arm out to stop me but I took another step just out of his reach -though he could take a step closer himself.

"It is as if we have raised you up to speak like a mere human. Humans make mistakes and beg to be forgiven for them, but we are a race of a very different kind. We stand alone from humans and never take a step in saying that we make mistakes. What we do is just a doing and that is all it can be. So, Isabella, please note to never say something like that again." I was shocked to say the least. Aro's voice was like an elastic band that hit me smack in the face. Never had he used such a professional tone with me, and it seemed to even surprise others. Demetri let out a soft growl that seemed to be ignored by the rest of the occupants of the chamber, Felix tightened his fists, Alec's eyes were open wide, and the others glanced quickly at each other. Only Jane stood calmly like it was a natural occurrence.

"Alice Cullen will not be found innocent for the crime she has committed. In no circumstance was she supposed to do such an action and it will not be excused."

This was my last resort and I can say that I would never be shameful of it as it was a rather brave thing to do; standing up for a friend in the face of expulsion and danger.

"Aro, please! If anyone is to forgive Alice then it is me. And I forgive her for doing only what she thought was right, she was just trying to protect her family!"

Aro's gaze was on me and it didn't feel like anything welcome he used to give me before. It was a cold stare and seemed to look right through me. "A coven is never a family, Isabella. You should know that." I blinked in further surprise at what Aro was saying. It was as if he was now just letting everything he thought spill out; what a coven meant to him and how a family stood far apart from it.

"Aro." The voice of Marcus eased the awkwardness within the chamber as he grabbed Aro's attention. Without another word being said Marcus held his hand out for Aro to take. It was an action that the guard had become accustomed to yet we all still waited in impatience. Alice seemed to be having a vision but I wasn't about to ask. If I did manage to free her from an awful death then I was going to let her run back to the Cullen's without any further questioning. I knew that I was almost too curious for anyone's good but I could put the pieces together from what Alice had already told me. And maybe this way I could still go on with my business without knowing anything that I would count too dreadful for anyone's ears.

"I do not think that is the best of ideas, Marcus." Aro's voice was now soft but he still had that hard look in his eyes. He wasn't going to let this go easily and no one expected any differently from him. He was, after all, the leader of the vampire universe for a reason.

Marcus tightened his hold on Aro's hand as if that would make him see differently and the other occupants of the chamber waited further. Jane inched towards Alec to whisper in his ear but he seemed too stuck to reply to her. Felix turned to Demetri next to me with a sad look. For a second it seemed as if these vampires could have a heart that wanted to lead a life by some moral conduct but under Aro's rein it seemed almost impossible. But wasn't that what Carlisle battled for? To lead a good life instead of one filled with too many sins it was hard to begin counting?

"Are you going against my better judgment?" Aro's voice rose and for a split second I imagined that he would get up and throw Marcus across the room. Though it seemed almost outlandish I could see Aro doing so to anybody in an angry state. But what was hard was to find him in any state of anger, it was almost too rare that anyone ever saw him angry.

"Not your better judgment, Aro. But if you prize her and wish to have her close maybe it is best to let the yellow-eyed one go. Remember what you can lose." I got it immediately. If Aro did want to keep me here with all my powers then it meant Alice go. But if he let her die then it would result in me leaving. And I would do so only after begging Demetri to go with me. So losing three potential vampires wasn't the best thing that Aro could do.

"And that, I must say, will just not look good." Caius put in. He was using his light tone and had his gaze fixed on one if his rings.

Aro turned his head towards him but I was cut off from the look that he gave him. But I could perfectly well read it on everyone else's expressions. "That is a bit too far for you, dear Caius."

Caius' face displayed what could only be described as a burning, passionate anger. He turned his head the other way though and let Aro turn back to Marcus who seemed to want Aro's attention for further persuasion. Aro was all too slow to get back to holding Marcus' hand for the flow of information.

"What will you do if she doesn't get to go?" Demetri's soft voice filled my ear and I almost closed my eyes and rocked my body backwards towards his. This had been one of the things that I knew he'd ask me in a short period of time because he felt it right to know where I would go if I wished to.

"I don't think I'll be able to stay here," I softly whispered back so that it was hard for the others to pick up. I hadn't thought about it in detail but I didn't think that I'd be able to stay if one of the people that I once loved dearly was killed by the people that I counted my family. "But if I go, will you come with me?"

A flash of sadness crossed Demetri's face. I didn't believe that I had asked a hard question but it seemed to take him a while to answer. So long that I was getting impatient to a new level and so I had to restrain myself from asking, in a louder tone, what his thought of my question was.

"Wouldn't it be a little risky? I mean they'd be able to work it in their advantage. And where would we go?"

I felt like I could cry for the world at that moment. Not only did it seem like he was uncertain to go with me but he was putting family first straight away. I would do that too were I uncertain about the bond between us but I was perfectly sure that it was real.

Before I could reply though Aro spoke up, dropping Marcus' hand and gaining the whole chamber's attention. "I have come to a decision and after so much thinking about it… Bella was attacked by Alice without having provoked her and so I think it is only fair to punish Alice."

A low gasp escaped my lips and I found that it was the last time that I could beg in Alice's honour. "Please, Aro! Is this case not actually supposed to be left up to me? I was attacked by her so should I not be the one to decide if she goes or is punished?"

Aro cast me a disapproving look and returned to addressing the whole crowd though I was right behind him. "My dear Isabella. I find it inappropriate to hand over this sort of decision to you as you seem too kind hearted. And more important, in our law it is one of the three rulers that get to decide. That would be either Caius, Marcus or I. You are only in the guard."

I wanted to pull at my hair and scream to myself why I had ever stayed. I had seen things like this happen before yet as it was happening right now it seemed like something foreign. And, of course, it was someone close to me who was being judged. Did these people really care about any sort of 'family'? It was most definitely a rhetorical question that even a child would see no need to answer had they seen the Volturi.

I took a step back and let my head fall. Aro continued to talk to the crowd of the Volturi guard. I could just imagine the look in his eyes that showed how sadistic he could be in his little moments. I felt the sharp ache start in the pit of my stomach and felt something hook-like pull at my belly button. The pain shot through me to my chest. I tried to stay stock still and not let anyone on that I wasn't able to bring up my shields but it was getting harder as the ache lingered longer at my chest. It felt like one of my ribs had snapped and was now poking right into my lung. I didn't bother breathing like I was used to because the pain got worse. I exhaled what little air I had had in my lungs and felt the pain loosen up just a bit.

The first sign that I hadn't held onto my outer shields was when Demetri gasped and took a step backwards. I quickly turned my head his way, ignoring the pain that seared through my arms. For a moment I thought that I had gotten the outer shield under control but then I felt a bit of the pain disappear. It was as if I could see it travel through the air, flying towards Aro. The idea that flew into my brain gave me my last breath of hope.

I stood upright, discarding the pain like it wasn't bothersome, and concentrated on building a shield around the other people closest to me; Aro, Caius and Marcus. I tried to include Demetri in the tight bubble and could just manage it. It was like putting a leash onto a dog except this was more serious than a dog running off without it's lead on. I tried to think positive thoughts to try and cool off the pain. Images of my meadow immediately popped into my mind and I felt the pain slowly being tugged away.

This had to work in order for me to continue to try to break Alice away from any sort of punishment.

When I saw that Demetri wasn't bent over anymore I let the shield snap back into place, right around me. I let them active just in case I got another bout of sadness or anger.

I took a step closer to Aro so that he would be able to see me in his vision of sight without having to turn his head to face me. I lightly cleared my throat to get his attention, tearing it away from the guard. The look on his pale face told me that despite his reluctances to the matter I had his full attention.

Acting like I was a child who had been punished and now knew what they had done wrong I dropped my eyes to the floor and then brought them back up. "Master, I feel like I cannot lie to you."

"Pardon?" A look of curiosity crossed Aro's features and I saw Caius and Marcus turn their heads to look at me. I had the rest of the guard's attention so I knew it would not take too long to ravel them into a frenzy.

"I mean to tell you that Alice did not attack me. Well, she did but she wasn't the one to attack first."

"Isabella?" Aro asked at the same time that Demetri uttered "Bella?" It felt nice to hear Demetri say my name but this was not a time to listen to him or his questions. This was either a moment where I could sell Alice out or where I could bail her out. Wasn't a family supposed to keep close to each other no matter what life time they had been together during?

"I attacked Alice first to provoke her to get mad. I… had wanted to get back at… Edward by showing him that I was capable of killing anyone. It was my form of…revenge."

Aro spared Caius and Marcus a look before letting his eyes fall back to me. Alice, kneeling in front of the three thrones, looked up at me as if what she was hearing was insane.

"And what gave you the impression that this was acceptable?" Caius asked, raising one of his eyebrows to emphasize that he wasn't asking this to know all the facts but, rather, to entertain himself with the mistake I had 'made'.

I stepped past Aro's throne and stopped next to Alice. "I wasn't over him and I guess that I'm still not. But I shouldn't have thought of bringing Alice into this after everything she had done for me. It was irresponsible of me to do so and I will take action for my doings." I hoped that Demetri had enough wit to understand what I was doing so that he wouldn't ask where the whole Volturi clan could hear.

Aro gave me a look of suspicion like he wasn't going to take my bait and believe what I had just said. I had guessed that this would happen, that there would be a sixty per cent chance of Aro not believing me so I didn't have anything to be sad about other than the fact that Alice might be killed.

"Are you meaning to say that you are taking the whole responsibly for this mess, Isabella?" Aro hard gaze made me avert my eyes but I nodded. "Seems quite brave of you."

"I will not let someone else take the punishment that I deserve." I said quietly. I looked at Alice and hoped that she wouldn't ruin things by saying that she actually had attacked me first.

"Then why is it that Alice didn't say so from the start?" The looked that I was given illustrated that Aro expected Alice to answer. I shut my mouth and waited for Alice's voice to sound.

Her head bobbed up and she looked with fright at Aro. "I… was afraid of saying that Bella had done anything because I understand what family is to her. I know that she wouldn't want to be apart with anyone who she counts family but since she's been with you longer I thought it noble to die for her happiness. And what she had with Edward tore her apart to pieces that she can't pick up by herself." Alice's gaze met Demetri's but all I saw was a man who wouldn't dare to meet my eyes in a dance of passionate show of affection.

"It would be quite ridiculous to kill from my own guard. This time I will not be taking as long to make up my mind. I do not want this mess at my feet so I call no responsibility for it. This means that Alice Cullen is free to go. Isabella, you are more or less not do this again if you feel it right to stay. But in my opinion you should go." I looked up and stared at Aro. Never had I heard such words come from his mouth. It was like he had turned into a completely different person altogether.

"But-"

"Better yet, you can be banned from this coven." Caius put in before Aro could speak. The look they shared showed me everything that I needed to know. It was either get killed or go and never come back unless called upon.

My bright idea turned dim and vanished inside my head. This hadn't turned out the way I had wanted it but I still, in one way or another, gotten what I wanted. But I had wanted to free Alice and then leave anyway. But along with Demetri. The question now is would he even consider going with me?

**Author's note:**

First thing first: I am so sorry that I hadn't updated in a while. But in Irish the fourth to last year of school is a big exam year and that means that I get loaded with homework. I can honestly say that I cannot wait to go to college/uni.

Second thing is that I made this chapter way longer than usual as some sort of treat for you guys. You're awesome for all those reviews that you leave and for liking this fanfic. Now please go and review for my effort to update sooner with this chapter than my homework would actually let me. Next time I don't update in a long time means I'm either busy with homework or I'm away from a computer or that I really want to have some me time which means only reading and listening to music.

_M.M_


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